Don't want to be accused of holding out on ya'll regarding the daycare plans. It's just not altogether interesting. Overwhelmingly complicated, yes, but fascinating reading material? No. Since this building fell in our laps in February, I've been struggling with the "ifs" and "whens" of opening a childcare center. I've prayed and prayed for the Lord to tell me one way or the other what He wants me to do, but the Spirit has--so far--remained silent. The master, on the other hand, has not. He is like a freight train barreling faster and faster toward the Sunnys*de K*ds station, and ladies, it is hard to stop a train.
And frankly, I'm out of options. We are closing on this building within days. We haven't really been living in the real world since moving here six months ago. We've just been wallowing around, soaking up God's unexpected showers--make that a downpour--of blessing. We moved into a 10,000 square foot facility full of furniture, electronics, baby equipment, diapers, books, toys, food, etc. We were told to keep whatever we wanted. We don't pay rent. We don't pay utilities. And we don't fund any of the improvements we make to the property. But by the end of the week, that is all going to change. Our payment will be nothing near what you would expect to pay for a building this size, but it still must be paid. And then there is water, electricity, and gas. We don't have any idea what that is going to run us.
I tried to get a job teaching public school, but no luck. I don't know if it is the three year break on my resume, or that we've moved three times, or that fewer teachers are retiring because of the economy, but whatever it is, THEY AREN'T CALLING. I'm not qualified to do anything but work with children in a professional setting, so any other job I could get would be minimum wage. Minimum wage job - two children in daycare = bubkiss.
It is not that I don't enjoy teaching and working in childcare. I do! I loved each and every one of the children I kept in my home last year, and had we not moved, would have continued in the home daycare business indefinitely. But, there is SO. MUCH. INVOLVED. If it was just loving the kids, and teaching them their ABC's, and wiping hinies and noses, I would have been open yesterday. But it is dealing with the state, and insurance, and standards, and Food Programs, and ratios, and affidavits, and legal risks, and payroll, and asphalt in my play yard.
I could go on for hours listing pros and cons but what it all boils down to is this:
Should we continue to "live in faith" and trust God to provide? After all, He has been doing a superb job of it. I know my capabilities. I can't do it all. At least, not well. I can't run a quality daycare and keep up the pace of full-time mom to six. Not to mention an active pastor's wife of a growing congregation. Should we concentrate on our family, making a happy, stable home for them, and ministering in our church? Trusting with our whole hearts that He is able to make a way--even when the numbers don't add up?
OR
Maybe He gave us this building to be used for a purpose? Perhaps NOT opening a daycare would be poor stewardship of His gift? Am I being selfish and lazy? Doesn't the Proverbs describe a worthy woman as one "who considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard?" From a purely business standpoint, this daycare has every opportunity of being a success. It is--if you will--a handsome field. Shouldn't I turn it to the best advantage for my family? Also it is, without a doubt, what my husband (the one I'm supposed to submit to) intends for me to do.
Now you see why I have stayed up nights.
Quest or Quench
1 year ago
1 comment:
Honestly, it sounds like the Lord isn't being so silent on this one. He's given you the facility, the equipment and a gung-ho husband. It sounds to me like you're doing what He wants you to do...and if He wants you to do it, He will provide the way.
Your struggle reminds me of our struggle on if we should stay in Grab-Your-Lasso or return to the Emerald City. In the end we just had to start walking through the doors we felt like God was opening. Now Shad's back in his original job with the same salary and benefits...with an extra week of paid vacation. I'm back in my original job with the same salary and benefits...which was a miracle in and of itself. He's plunked us right where we left off 10 months ago. In the end we realized sometimes the struggle is just working up the courage to do what He wants us to do.
We'll be praying for wisdom.
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