Adoptive Mama Tag

Marina=pink

Cara=purple

1. How many months (days, weeks, YEARS...)We went to orientation in April of 2002. Marina came home in May 2005. Homestudy completed in March 08. Cara was born in June.
2. WAS YOUR HUSBAND EXCITED? Not so excited about the process (but then, who is?), totally excited about the person. Ditto.
3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS WHEN YOU GOT "THE" PHONE CALL? I couldn't get excited about the call. It was more of a feeling of, "Well, finally." Also, it was delivered in such a backhanded way--our agency representative going into medical concerns and warning us not to make a decision until we had come in for a match meeting and done some research. I was ecstatic after the match meeting. I was in a state of shock. Our file was supposed to have been on hold. I was happy, scared, excited, surprised...
4. WHERE WERE YOU WHEN YOU FOUND OUT? I remember being in the computer room of our old house. I was in the kitchen (in our newer, old house) with the daycare kids and my mom. 5. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 26 when she came home and 29
6. WHAT IS YOUR CHILD'S BIRTH-COUNTRY (and province or city)? St. Peterburgh, Russia Corpus Christi, Texas
7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? I have no idea. I can't remember! Suzi had to be among the first. She was my mentor during the whole process. By chance, my mom happened to be in the room when I got the call. I called the master next, pretty sure my sisters heard from mom. Tried to keep the number down to the bare minimum until we heard if she had chosen us or was going to go with another agency.
8. DID YOU REQUEST A BOY, GIRL, OR EITHER? Either. Ditto.
9. HOW OLD WAS YOUR CHILD AT REFERRAL? six months. one day.
10. WHEN AND HOW DID YOU SEE YOUR CHILD'S FACE/PICTURE FOR THE FIRST TIME? Match meeting November 2004. Birthmother showed us her one blurry polaroid in the wee morning hours of June 25 2008.
11. WHAT WAS THE FIRST THING YOU BOUGHT FOR YOUR CHILD? Can't remember. I know we took a baby photo album on our first trip and left it with her. I also made her a quilt. Some preemie clothes, and she had to have a nameplate for her NICU bassinet, so scrapbooking supplies!!
12. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? The attitude of the agency staff which was, "You have children, so who cares how long you put your life on hold for this adoption?" and, of course, the paperwork. At first, the hospital staff did not accept me as the mother. There were a lot of insensitive/rude/ignorant comments made by the nurses and doctors, which surprised me. You would think--in their profession--they would use appropriate adoption vocabulary/language. It's not like I was the first adoptive parent they've had to work with.
13. WHEN WERE YOU ABLE TO TRAVEL? From match meeting to first trip 2 1/2 months. First trip to second, 4 months. The next afternoon.
14. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER? Nope. 4th and 6th babies don't tend to have showers, but they got lots of goodies anyway.
15. HOW OLD WAS YOUR CHILD WHEN YOU SAW THEM IN PERSON FOR THE FIRST TIME? 9 months 2 days
16. DID YOU PACK ANYTHING SPECIAL JUST FOR YOUR BABY? Marina had her own suitcase packed with stuff for the coming home trip! Just as we were leaving, some ladies from church dropped by with a gift of clothes, burp cloths, bibs, socks, etc. I'm so glad I took that with me. At one point, C.C. asked to look at it. She was very excited to see that we had brought gifts for her baby. She thought and voiced (throughout the process) that we were only adopting Cara out of pity. Little things like a pretty present for the baby, helped her to understand that we were thirlled about the baby and wanted her more than anything.
17. WHAT SURPRISED YOU ABOUT YOUR TRAVEL EXPERIENCE THE MOST? How much I would miss the U.S.
18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS WITH YOUR PAPERWORK/PROCESS? Yes, our dossier sat for over nine months on a bureaucrat's desk. He was waiting for a bribe. Then afterwards, there was a delay between trip one and trip two. (At the time, it was the longest wait on record with our agency. In today's process, it would probably be considered relatively short). Our domestic adoption was MIRACULOUSLY SMOOTH. The only incident--and we didn't know until after the fact--was C.C. delayed signing the relinquishment documents. Our agency representative was so afraid she was going to run without signing them. Without her signature, Cara would have gone into foster care. Our worker risked life and limb--seriously--to track her down before she disappeared.
19. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE MEMORY OR PLACE YOU VISITED IN YOUR CHILD'S BIRTH COUNTRY?THE BEST? We loved visiting the winter palace and the National Russian Museum. We are also so glad we made a point to worship with a local body of believers while in St. Petersburgh. That was an experience we will never forget! I will always remember the middle of the night trips to the NICU. Holding Cara and singing hymns and lullabies in a room filled with the smallest and most fragile of God's children.
20. HOW MANY DAYS/WEEKS WERE YOU IN YOUR CHILD'S BIRTH COUNTRY? Five days first trip. 11 days second. A little less than three weeks.
21. FAVORITE PLACE/THING TO EAT WHILE THERE? Pelmini. Chicken Kiev. Stroganoff. The Mexican food in Corpus is WONDERFUL!
22. FAVORITE PLACE TO SHOP WHILE THERE? The market in Moscow. N/A.
23. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU ON THE PLANE GOING/LEAVING? 18? 1 1/2?
24. WHO MET YOU AT THE AIRPORT? Parents, sisters, friends, church members, the kids. The kids, my mom and dad.
25. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU DID AFTER LEAVING THE AIRPORT? WENT HOME!!! Went by Starbucks and picked up lattes for the agency staff. Then we went to the agency office and signed our placement papers.
26. WHAT DO YOU CALL YOUR ADOPTION DAY? We call it, "The Day the Judge Said, 'Da'" for Marina. I don't know for Cara. We were with her from the first.
27. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? We gave them their birthmother's names. And a virtue for a middle name: Joy and Grace.
28. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN (adopted) TODAY? Two months shy of five years old. I can't believe it. Seven months.
29. ARE YOU PLANNING TO GO BACK TO THEIR BIRTH COUNTRY SOMEDAY? Yes. If we aren't at war. Yes. I'd love to take a vacation there this summer and show her off in the NICU.
30. HAVE YOU STARTED OR ALREADY MADE YOUR CHILD A LIFEBOOK? Yes. She has a baby book in process and a smaller album from birth to coming home completed.