She Has It All Figured Out

I have always been the subject of my children's first drawings. Usually, I'm pictured under a rainbow, or beside a darling house with a smoking chimney. Sometimes I'm seen skipping through exceptionally large wildflowers and sometimes I'm grasping a bouquet of "roses." Other times I'm holding a baby or the artist's hand. Added to the artwork there is typically a great profusion of hearts and X's and O's and even the occasional careful inscription, "ILUVMOM." And I am forever smiling.
Last Christmas, my mom gave Marina a M*gn* Doodle. And early last spring Marina's first real drawings emerged. Sure enough one of her first exclamations was, "Look, Momma, I drawed a picture of you." But lifting the screen to admire her work, I saw a stick figure with hair, two arms, and two legs...and a huge scowl on it's face. Where were the wild flowers? Where were the kisses and hugs? Where was my enormous, stretching-from-one-side-to-the-other smile?

Me: Marina, honey, you drew it very well, but why did you draw me with a frown?
Marina: Well, I can't draw it good the other way.
Me: Oh, I'll help you.

So we erased the frowning mommy and I helped her several times with making the U shape. Over the next few months, my sinister expression kept re-appearing on the M*gn* Doodle. It got to where--when I saw her busy with the pen--I would catch her attention and flash her my broadest grin, "See, Marina? I'm smiling. Mommy is happy. I like to smile. Please draw me smiling, Rina."
And that seemed to help. While I didn't star in any wild flower fields, at least I didn't look ready to carve some one's liver. But on Friday, Marina was working on the carpet with her precious Doodle, snickering all the while. After a few minutes she sat back on her haunches, evidently pleased with her masterpiece. She brought the Doodle over to me on the couch. The screen was 3/4 ths the way covered with scribbles and in the top right hand corner was a stick figure with two eyes and a big frown.

Marina: pointing Look Mommy...this is you.
Me: inwardly sighing Marina, why am I frowning?
Marina: indicating large mass of scribbles 'Cause this is a tornado, and it is about to carry you away. She does not seem troubled whatsoever over my sudden and traumatic departure, but rather impressed with her own ingenuity in writing me out of her life's screenplay.
Me: extensionally also impressed, somewhat amused, and mildly alarmed. My attachment sensors just went on full alert But, if I went away in a tornado, who would take care of you?

Marina pauses, then a light seems to dawn. She grabs the Doodle and goes back to the carpet. I'm thinking she has realized that perhaps my being spirited away in a whirlwind would not be best and is revamping her artwork. Guess again.

Marina: excitedly I have enough room at the bottom...I can draw Daddy...He will take care of me when the tornado take you away.

Sigh