"Fellow"ship?

Well, the recognition service came off nicely. I was sweating it right up until the last moment (everyone was supposed to be there an hour early. Hah.), but a whole van full of kids arrived just as we were beginning our processional. I ended up with 25 kids, which is average for Wednesday nights, but as we were having the service on a Sunday, I had no way of knowing who would show up. I try not to get too caught up in numbers--success has far more to do with quality than quantity--but after years of serving in churches with teeny, tiny children's ministries, I must admit feeling somewhat elated by the size of the group.
And speaking of the size of the group....
We had some visitors in the congregation. At first, I thought they must be the parents of one of my Wednesday-night-only kids. You know, those folks who will only darken the door of a church if their kid is in a performance. But when none of my kiddos sought them out after service, I really began to wonder. You typically do not have first time visitors on a Sunday night. Then the master made a big to-do with introducing me (I had the distinct impression he wanted me to oversee their welcome and comfort) and finally it clicked. This was the gentleman the church is considering for the youth pastor position. I found the closest phone booth and presto, change-o--PERFECT PASTOR'S WIFE. Which, we all know, is a role I play so very well. *cough, cough* The master, having sent me the silent message, moved on to shake hands, hug necks, kiss babies...pastoral stuff. After I made small talk with them through the fellowship line--which wasn't difficult as they had a chubby toddler to ooh and gooh over--and we were seated, the wife congratulated me on the service and asked, "So you have four children?" I'm assuming she counted the kids with the last name S_________ listed in the bulletin. She said "four" as though it were some impossible sum and surely must represent a typo.
"No, we have six."
I'm betting the master didn't mention that, because Mr. Youth-Pastor-Prospect spit his tuna sandwich across the table.
Mr. YPP: "Did you say, 'six'??!! sputtering.
Does he have a hearing problem?
Me: "Yes."
Mrs. YPP: talking to her child "WOW! She's a better woman than your mommy."
Um. No. Not better, not worse. Just me...and by the way, at this point, you know next to nothing about me. Why does hearing that number conjure up in people's minds a paragon of strength and virtue? For all they know, I might be a really crappy mom (and I am on occasion). This never ceases to amaze me (and I hear it alot. Can you tell?), because I don't meet a mom of one or two and think, "Man, she's a pitiful excuse of a woman." I realize she probably meant it as a compliment, but when people say this, I don't feel complimented. I feel like a freak of nature. And what am I supposed to say to that, anyway? Thank you? Why yes, you're right, I must be vastly superior to you?
Me: silence with a plastered smile
Mrs. YPP: How do you do it?
Mr. YPP: What are their ages?
Me: The same as you. One day at a time. And they are 10 years to 10 months.
Mr. YPP: 10 years to 10 months??!!
There goes that pesky hearing problem. He really should get that seen about.
Me: That's right.
Mr. YPP: Well, we felt blessed to have one.
Ooooh, I see. In contrast--since your inflection clearly indicates a perceived difference--how do I feel about my six? Bored? Unaffected? Ungrateful? Entitled? My oldest is sitting next to me. What does that comment say to him? You didn't fill up our "blessing cup," so we had to keep having more? Well, we felt blessed to have one.....six times over.
Me: bigger plastered smile I see Randy needs a drink. You'll have to excuse me. exiting hastily


I still hope he comes as youth pastor. We are getting close to summer and if we don't fill the position, guess who'll be taking the kids to youth camp and weekend trips? But after they are here, I'll be glad to take my little ole self and my ridiculous number of children to a far away table and eat my bean dip in peace.