For the Record

I am not Super Woman. Today, I'm not even Mediocre Woman. I'm tired and whiney and heartsick and small. Today, all the little thanksgiving clips on facebook make me sick. Today, my children are the worst behaved kids I know. My husband is the most unsympathetic. Today, my employees were mouthy. My students were inattentive and loud. Because I was in a hurry, I got caught by every red light and the train. My dachshund won't poop outside. Today the new foster child in my daycare came with no shoes, but plenty of lice, and a raw, painful diaper rash, and I am mad as hell that she has been treated this way and frustrated at how little I can do to help. Today was my payday, but I didn't get paid--again.
And tomorrow I will feel ashamed for my crappy attitude about it all. But not today. Today I am going to bed.

Life Lesson

Abby got a rabbit for her ninth birthday. We discovered that rabbits do not make very good pets. Even though Abby made every effort to befriend the recalcitrant bunny, she would not return affection, but scratched and clawed (as rabbits are want to do) at each overture of affection. After a few weeks, Abby stopped trying. Then in another few weeks, she all but forgot the animal. We were constantly reminding her to feed and water the rabbit. I began to tend it myself, when I would think of it, and I was forever finding its bowl empty and the water tower dry. We've scolded and nagged and warned Abby that if she didn't take care of Lollipop it would die. And on Monday it happened. Marina noticed the rabbit "sleeping" in its hutch as they walked by after school. Probably a combination of cooler nights and irregular, inadequate nutrition were to blame. There was no sign of predator attack or sickness.
Abby was more upset than I have ever seen her. She was simply devastated. When I asked her if she was sad because her rabbit was dead or if she was upset because she was partly responsible for its death, she sobbed, "Because I killed her." The next morning I found this note. And for the record, I did not read my daughter's diary. She put it on top of a stack of her art work in plain view. I also checked with her about re-posting it on my blog.
I give you permission to smile or even chuckle at this note. I did. I couldn't help myself. I'm sure--many years from now--Abby will be able to see the humorous side to this tragedy, too.
I truly regret that Lollipop died, and any time your child hurts like that, you hurt as well, but I'm glad Abby is learning this hard lesson now--at the age of nine with a pet rabbit--as opposed to later, when human lives and relationships are depending on her. When you don't take care of your responsibilities, others suffer.

Because of Me

Because of me a poor rabbit is dead. I am the one to blame. Everyday I should have fed it and petted it for at least 30 minutes. But I didn't. So now in a rabbit cage there lays a stiff as stone rabbit, eyes closed and not breathing. I disspear (she means despair) greatly. I will not get another pet until I'm grown. Some people don't know how bad it feels when you cause a heart to stop beating. Right now my hand and the ground around me is splashed with my tears. I'm afraid the more I write, the more guilt I feel. So, I'm gong to stop now. But remember, take care of your pet, because I didn't, and she died.

Because of me, Lollipop is dead.

Sleeping Beauties

Fast asleep in her big girl bed. She threw her hand over her eyes when I flipped the light on. I gently moved it out of the way so you could see a little more of her cuteness. Sundays are still rough on her.

Here are my two squirrels. They have bunk beds, but always sleep curled up together in a nest of many sheets and blankets. Unlike Cara, they did not flinch when the light came on.

Marina went to sleep in her church clothes and silly bands. Silly girl. She tends to pull the fitted sheet off in her sleep that is why you can see the mattress peaking through.

Princess Abby sleeps with no less than seven pillows to buffer her slumber. She is going to "die" of embarrassment when she finds out I posted a picture of her sleeping. He. He. He.

This big kid sleeps hard. Just like his daddy.

Saturday Nine

1. What do you see when you are watching the wheels go round?

Does this question have a hidden meaning of which I am not aware? Because I'm not getting it.

2. Do you watch reality shows? Which ones?

I don't have television, but if I did, I would enjoy watching "Baby Story" and "Adoption Story." I'm not even sure TLC still produces those, but I liked them. And the few times I've watched the show with the Duggar's, I liked it. Though it drives me nuts that people are constantly asking me if Iwatch that show when they find out I have six kids. O.K., people, 6 is a few children short of 19. Just so you know. The other thing that rubs me the wrong way on that show is that, she says, during the opening credits, "And, yes, I gave birth to all of them." As though adoption would somehow diminish or illigitimize the marvel of successfully parenting nineteen children???!!!

3. What's your favorite all time reality show?

See question 2.

4. Do you feel "reality" shows are real or are they faked?

Some are definitely faked.

5. What does your personal neon sign say to the world?

There was a neon sign up in the Mexican food restaurant tonight, "Todo por una Bud-Light" Meaning, "Everyone wants one," but literally translates into English as "All for one, Bud Light." Which made me think of the three Musketeer's slogan: "All for one, and one all." I would love for my neon sign to read, "All for One-Jesus Christ." Sad that so often it blinks other, less attractive messages.

6. Ever seen a neon sign with certain letters burned out so that it said something unintended?

Not that I recall.

7. What gives you a headache? Could be a scent, a sound, someone's actions - anything.

Cigarette smoke, lack of sleep, hormonal changes.

8. What song, artist or album in your music collection would you pull out and play if you wanted to give your roommate/neighbors a huge, head-splitting headache?

I bought this CD for Abby on her first birthday. You know, one of those CD's where they sing her name in all the songs? It is extremely annoying, corny, awful. We only play it ONCE a year.

9. What do you do to relieve stress?

I sew or scrapbook. Or blog....