Over the holidays, at parties, funerals and church fellowships, the master and I ran in to several older people who were widowed and re-married later in life. Some we've known long enough to have known their first spouse, and others we've only known the "new." We both noticed that most of these couples seem less like married folks and more like polite, good friends. It got me thinking. Would I remarry if John went home before me? I mean, before me and after the kids were grown? I don't think it would even be a question if they weren't. Not too many folks standing in line to wed a poor widow woman with six kids. He, he, he....
I don't think I would. I realize my opinion might be different at 50 or 60, but right now at 32, I can't see myself making that commitment again. Getting to know someone--on that level--again? Their likes and dislikes, their funny quirks, who their teacher was in the first grade? It just doesn't appeal to me. Having to share your time with his side of the family (I'm assuming he would also have been married before with children); people who might seriously resent you? I don't think so. I'm sure many people re-marry from loneliness, but I find it difficult to fathom loneliness with six children--even grown--and who knows how many grandchildren, nephews, nieces, church and growing day-care family (children I've helped to raise). The idea of actually being the sole member of a household doesn't fill me with dread--it sounds...nice.
So, would you or wouldn't you? And am I really weird to be thinking about this?
Quest or Quench
10 months ago
2 comments:
I don't think you're weird. Dave and I have talked about this various times. He tells me that I need to remarry but insists that he would not.
It would just depend on the when of it I think for me. But I can't imagine being married to anyone other then Dave.
My mom has been widowed 6 1/2 years and has considered it but never done anything about finding a nice man. I doubt she'll ever remarry but it's not because she likes being alone, she actually is miserable alone.
I might think differently if that time comes one day, but right now I strongly do not think I would.
I've got my one true love and I don't think I could share that with anyone else. Nor do I think I'd want to. You know my daddy remarried when I was 18 and it's never been easy for me - even now the balance is just all wonky. Like you said, I think it's more of a companion thing for him that that one true love but it does make it weird forever after on the family make-up. I know that sounds selfish of me, and I wouldn't want him to be lonely. But I don't want that for my kids and I (right now) don't think I'd want another husband than the one I have.
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