Day Two--Or the Grizwalds Tour Lousiana

So, yesterday after I posted, we saw a billboard for touring the Tabasco plant on Avery Island. The master has always wanted to do that--he has a deep and abiding love for the pepper sauce. We made a spur of the moment decision to go. It was a pretty cool (or should I say, 'hot'?) tour, but it put us hours behind our gator farm schedule. THEN we hit a horrendous grid-lock in Grosse Tet, which road sign Ian unfortunately read as 'gross tit' and he and Ian pro eded to laugh about half-way to Baton Rouge. That's normally not a long drive, but yesterday, it took almost two hours. The gator farm website said they closed at 6:00, and we knew we were going to miss it. The master just about blew a gasket. Did you know he could do that? Doesn't happen very often, but it DOES happen. The hillarity of the back seats died down. It was one of those rare moments when children instinctively know to maintain silence for self preservation. Long story short, we made the last tour of the day--turned out they didn't follow the specified times--it's a Cajun thing. Wish we would have known that before the apoplexy. When we got to the hotel, they didn't have the suite we had reserved. They had rented the second bedroom and wanted us to pay the same amount for the one bedroom and living room. I don't think so. After much wrangling with the night desk clerk, we were finally settled into the handicap room. There were only two double beds, but additional floor space, so we were back to putting pallets on the floor.
We are driving by grace to Lake Charles. The master has his leg off and we are all griping about the smell. Hoping we do not miss the party.

Please Tell Me...

Please tell me this looks like a juke box. Lie if you have to. I have fifty+ people--half of whom I do not know--coming to my house tomorrow for a "Fabulous Fifties" party for my mother-in-law, and this is supposed to be her cake. As cake decorating goes, it is not one of my finer achievements, and the longer I look at it, the more convinced I become that it doesn't remotely resemble a juke box. Randy is no help. He keeps prancing around it, crying, "It's a juice box, Mommy, a juice box cake for Grandma! It is a BIG juice box!"

I added the music notes to hopefully tip folks off. I can just hear myself tomorrow night:

"Actually, it's a juke box."

"Umm..no...it's a juke box."

"Well, it is supposed to be a juke box. You know, from the fifties?"

Never Before

And with any luck, never again. Thought I'd take a quick potty break between committee meeting and evening service. Pee in haste, repent at leisure. My skirt did not clear the commode. Thankfully, I was able to rush out of the side door without (I hope!!) anyone seeing me. I really must give up wearing broomstick skirts. I have not the careful, cautionary personality they require.

*If you wonder why my posts are few and far between, something has gone wrong with the computer. It takes forever to type on a website. You have to peck S-L-O-W-L-Y. Otherwise, the cursor just blinks at you. Getting a post up on blogger is painfully slow. I don't do slow.

Friday's Photo Journalism

TEAM S_______ HOPEFUL OF RAPID RECOVERY

Texas--Randy S____ made his return to full-time play and hinted he may exceed earlier projections for a quick comeback. Something many of his fans never doubted.

The three-year-old dynamite spent several hours in a local ER Sunday afternoon following a front end collision with a sanctuary pew.

"I fall down. I fall down on the pew. Yeah, it hurt. It felt....mean. But I all better."

Reports that S______ was traveling at speeds well above recommended church limits at the moment of impact have not been confirmed or denied. S_____ has resumed normal [hyper]activity and expects to have the stitches removed within the week. Team insiders claim, "it's like he didn't even get hurt."

Vacation Update

Spent the morning on the beach, but this is peak jellyfish season and the kids were a little nervous after we spotted five in the first five minutes, so after we played in the sand and sorted shells for a few hours, we moved on to the hotel pool and hot tub. There were two older European ladies there, and Randy and Ian had them wrapped around their little fingers instantly. They do have a way with the ladies, regardless of whether they speak the same language. Then we caught a late lunch at a local seafood restaurant (crab cakes....yum). This afternoon we napped and afterwards went to W*lMart--we can't get away from that place even on vacation. We stocked up on our meal provisions, beef sticks, microwave popcorn, and bottled water, you know, bare necessities. When on the road, we keep restaurant meals to one per day, we're cheap that way. The kids really don't mind the snack-and-graze method of dining; they fervently believe Slim Jims and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are gourmet food at its finest. The five oldest are now taking one last swim in the pool with their daddy. Cara says, "Enough of this insanity! Give me back my schedule!" Tomorrow, we board the retired aircraft carrier, The Lexington, and then we make our way back north.

Saturday Evening Post

It's been a busy weekend and it is not even finished yet. But tomorrow is the Sabbath. I've done my cooking tonight, just to ensure that it truly is a day of rest. We will be feasting on shrimp and garlic potatoes, french bread, deviled eggs, and chocolate silk pie. YUM! Now, I like to cook my most elaborate meals for Sunday lunch, but this is more than usual, and my miserliness rarely allows me to spring for shrimp, but we have cause to celebrate. In addition to our risen Lord, we will be commemorating TWO MORE PIECES UP ON OUR DEBT SNOWBALL!!!! The kids are really getting excited, because the poster is over half-way back together. Cinderella is no longer dissected and Mulan and most of Belle are smiling from the wall. Unfortunately, I did not cut the pieces "to scale." They are all roughly the same size regardless of the amount owed. We are now to the BIG DADDY debts. I can't think too much on it, or I will depress myself--for now it is enough to know we are two steps closer to our elusive goal.
Tonight we kicked 'ole Sallie Mae to the curb. It irked me to no end paying on a student loan for ONE STINKING SEMESTER...NINE YEARS AFTER GRADUATION....FOR A DEGREE I DON'T EVEN USE. And doesn't look like I will be using any time soon. I went to yet ANOTHER job fair today. No good vibes. At most of the tables I asked what positions they would be filling for the next school year and the answers were something to this effect: "None that we know of...." "We have one position in third grade..." "You can leave a resume if something comes open that meets your qualifications..." BAH! I have no idea why districts put on these elaborate, expensive job fairs, if they aren't planning on hiring a considerable number of personnel. So much for my "fall back" degree.
We camped on Friday. The kids had a good time. Cara did not. I had to bail on the tent camping experience once again to bring a fussing baby home to their own crib. You'd think I'd learn by now. Luckily, we were close to home and my midnight drive only lasted an hour. Pictures--of the fun, not the fussing--coming soon.

Secret Admirer

I'm a little concerned. While pilfering my children's Valentine goody bags for chocolate, I came across this unsigned Valentine. I can't post a picture, because it is very clearly addressed to my oldest (but old as in only 10 years), but it is a commercially made valentine in the shape of a dollar bill. In the right hand corner is the silhouette of a man and woman holding hands and gazing at one another. It reads:

Redeemable for unlimited....

HAND-HOLDING

On a long evening walk

Not sure if I should get upset about this, or just be glad it was as tame as hand holding?

Back in the Saddle...Sort Of

We are almost one week into the new year, and I am just now feeling like I've arrived. Over the last few days, I've had about a dozen blog posts bob to the the surface of my muddy brain, but they've all submerged too quickly to get them up here. I did manage to pull together a new skin.
I survived Illinois. I considered titling this post "Ill in Illinois" but that wouldn't have really been accurate when considering the entire Eight Hearts crew. They did not come down with the stomach virus until we were all crammed in the 15-passenger for the return trip. For them, I would need to name it, "Miserable in Missouri and All Points South." I on the other hand, developed a tremendous tooth ache our first night out. By the wee morning hours, I was moaning out in pain and my mouth was so swollen I couldn't talk. The next morning, the master began calling every dentist in town (for the teeny, tiny, farming community, that was 2). The first--and the only one recommended to us--was not seeing new, out-of-state patients on the eve of New Year's Eve. Go figure. The second dentist agreed to take me. Praise the Lord! It was either that, or the master was going to take me to the local veterinarian and have me put down. I'm not sure but that the local vet would have been a step up from the crude setting of my dental deliverance. Had I not been in such agony, I would never have sat down in the chair. The dentist's "office" was an old Mexican food restaurant. Five minutes later, the dentist came in told me I had a severely infected/impacted wisdom tooth. He cut it out, and sent me on my way. It still aches, but I think I'm going to make it. Since then, I too, have had the stomach virus, so I haven't had a fair shot on a full recovery.
Tomorrow I am starting a diet/detox program. I'll be blogging all about it--stay tuned!