Does this pumpkin make my butt look big?
Quest or Quench
2 years ago
Friday, October 31, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
It Only Took Me Six Tries
When we started looking into another adoption eighteen months ago, we thought in all likelihood, we would be matched with an AA child. I read up on racially mixed families. I remember a comment from one adoptive mom in particular. She said that adopting across racial lines meant that suddenly your family became "conspicuously adoptive." I pondered that statement a long time. While we eventually decided we could handle that adjustment, I knew and admitted to our social worker that it would be the most difficult transition for me.
We already turn many heads when we are in public because of our size. I suppose by now I should have a thicker skin, but if I am being honest with myself, the stares, comments, questions and whispers, still annoy me. Oh, I have my carefully thought out responses always ready, but it bothers me that I have to use them at least once each and every time I stir out of doors. Just one time in three years have I had to broach the additional topic of adoption with these nosey strangers. And in truth, that was a relief for me. Because Marina is white, people naturally assume that our "weirdness" is limited to having an "insane" number of children. Any questions of, "Are they all yours?" are answered in the affirmative. Sometimes, someone will notice that Marina is very tall for her age (not like the rest), but I choose to simply say, "Yes, she is" and leave it at that.
We believe Cara is at least partially Hispanic (1/2, 1/4?). Her birthmother, C.C. was 100% Caucasian, but that is the minority in south Texas. We love Cara's beautiful black hair and dark (my mama calls them "Spanish") eyes. So far, we have had two comments from strangers. Both were from African American women on separate occasions who--after looking over the other children--asked, "She looks mixed. What is she mixed with?" I found that it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I said, "She is adopted. We believe her birthfather was Hispanic." Do you think that was all right? Or perhaps, I should say, "She is adopted." and leave off the part about her birthfather. As long as I didn't have the master with me, I could say, "She is half Hispanic." and not even bring the whole adoption thing up. NONE of it is their business, but I am reluctant to respond rudely to rudeness.
And I'm learning there are funny moments for bi-racial families, too. A few weeks ago, we were sitting at Wendy's after Sunday night church. Two older ladies began to comment on our family. They didn't realize that--in talking loud enough for audibility between each others' hearing aids--they were broadcasting the conversation to the entire restaurant. They exclaimed over the amount of food on our table. Recalled all of their acquaintances who also had large families. They counted the children. They grouped boys and girls. Made guesses on their ages. They noted how well the kids behaved. Remarked how pretty and fair they were. And coming to the end of the dialogue, their eyes came to rest on me as I held Cara.
"And look at that! She finally got one that looks like her."
Ha, ha, ha. I smiled broadly at them. Those near-sighted ladies made my day.
We already turn many heads when we are in public because of our size. I suppose by now I should have a thicker skin, but if I am being honest with myself, the stares, comments, questions and whispers, still annoy me. Oh, I have my carefully thought out responses always ready, but it bothers me that I have to use them at least once each and every time I stir out of doors. Just one time in three years have I had to broach the additional topic of adoption with these nosey strangers. And in truth, that was a relief for me. Because Marina is white, people naturally assume that our "weirdness" is limited to having an "insane" number of children. Any questions of, "Are they all yours?" are answered in the affirmative. Sometimes, someone will notice that Marina is very tall for her age (not like the rest), but I choose to simply say, "Yes, she is" and leave it at that.
We believe Cara is at least partially Hispanic (1/2, 1/4?). Her birthmother, C.C. was 100% Caucasian, but that is the minority in south Texas. We love Cara's beautiful black hair and dark (my mama calls them "Spanish") eyes. So far, we have had two comments from strangers. Both were from African American women on separate occasions who--after looking over the other children--asked, "She looks mixed. What is she mixed with?" I found that it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I said, "She is adopted. We believe her birthfather was Hispanic." Do you think that was all right? Or perhaps, I should say, "She is adopted." and leave off the part about her birthfather. As long as I didn't have the master with me, I could say, "She is half Hispanic." and not even bring the whole adoption thing up. NONE of it is their business, but I am reluctant to respond rudely to rudeness.
And I'm learning there are funny moments for bi-racial families, too. A few weeks ago, we were sitting at Wendy's after Sunday night church. Two older ladies began to comment on our family. They didn't realize that--in talking loud enough for audibility between each others' hearing aids--they were broadcasting the conversation to the entire restaurant. They exclaimed over the amount of food on our table. Recalled all of their acquaintances who also had large families. They counted the children. They grouped boys and girls. Made guesses on their ages. They noted how well the kids behaved. Remarked how pretty and fair they were. And coming to the end of the dialogue, their eyes came to rest on me as I held Cara.
"And look at that! She finally got one that looks like her."
Ha, ha, ha. I smiled broadly at them. Those near-sighted ladies made my day.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Sweet Hearts
You may remember that last Thanksgiving we traveled to Illinois to visit the master's extended family, but most especially his aging grandmother, "Grandma Z." We both thought it would be the last time we saw her, and it was important for us that she get to see the children. We were very glad we made the trip, especially when his grandfather (on the other side) passed away unexpectedly three weeks after. We have some wonderful pictures of the kids getting to be with him and love on him.
However, Grandma Z is still with us, though she has had some touch and go moments over the past year. She is the master's last remaining grandparent. She has been on dialysis for over a year now and must go in every other day. She is tired and has just announced to the family that she will not continue dialysis after Christmas. When we got the e-mail, we discussed over dinner what we should do. We had not planned to return this year, but should we change our plans in light of this new information? Of course, the kids wanted to pack up right then and head out to see Grandma Z.
We freely discuss finances with and around our kids. We want to give them a good foundation, so that hopefully they will learn from our mistakes, glean wisdom from our successes, and become problem solvers. Last night was no exception. A trip to Illinois is expensive and financially draining to our budget, particularly right before Christmas, and we explained that to them. That's when K looked up from his plate and offered this suggestion:
"What if we gave up our Christmas presents? Getting to see Grandma Z before she went to be with Jesus would be our present!"
I looked around the table. There was no outcry of dissent but nods of agreement, smiles, and a few exclamations of, "Yeah, Bubba, that would work!"
My heart swelled with pride. Thank you Lord for giving me these sweet children. They teach me so much.
However, Grandma Z is still with us, though she has had some touch and go moments over the past year. She is the master's last remaining grandparent. She has been on dialysis for over a year now and must go in every other day. She is tired and has just announced to the family that she will not continue dialysis after Christmas. When we got the e-mail, we discussed over dinner what we should do. We had not planned to return this year, but should we change our plans in light of this new information? Of course, the kids wanted to pack up right then and head out to see Grandma Z.
We freely discuss finances with and around our kids. We want to give them a good foundation, so that hopefully they will learn from our mistakes, glean wisdom from our successes, and become problem solvers. Last night was no exception. A trip to Illinois is expensive and financially draining to our budget, particularly right before Christmas, and we explained that to them. That's when K looked up from his plate and offered this suggestion:
"What if we gave up our Christmas presents? Getting to see Grandma Z before she went to be with Jesus would be our present!"
I looked around the table. There was no outcry of dissent but nods of agreement, smiles, and a few exclamations of, "Yeah, Bubba, that would work!"
My heart swelled with pride. Thank you Lord for giving me these sweet children. They teach me so much.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Sickened
In the last few days, I have been amazed by the number of blogs and bumper stickers of professing Christians who are supporting Obama. How can they vote for a man who has voted against medical aid for babies who are BORN ALIVE? James Dobson's broadcast sickened me even further. This man goes way past pro-choice. He is adamantly and completely pro-abortion. He would even repeal the laws that require doctors to explain to the patient what will be done to her body and the baby's body during the abortion process.
Cara was born four months ago to a VERY confused, traumatized woman. There is so much of the story I can't give you, but the circumstances were ugly, brutal, horrific...some of the worst I have ever heard of. I am convinced, after hearing this broadcast, and reading the article that under an Obama presidency, babies like Cara will be partially born, mutilated, murdered, and discarded. [Yes, even at 33 weeks. If you doubt it, please read the article.] Hospitals will have nothing to lose and government money to gain by shoving a piece of paper at desperate women in their most vulnerable moments and aborting these babies. I am not pro-choice, but even if I was, how does this protect a woman's choice?
Cara was born four months ago to a VERY confused, traumatized woman. There is so much of the story I can't give you, but the circumstances were ugly, brutal, horrific...some of the worst I have ever heard of. I am convinced, after hearing this broadcast, and reading the article that under an Obama presidency, babies like Cara will be partially born, mutilated, murdered, and discarded. [Yes, even at 33 weeks. If you doubt it, please read the article.] Hospitals will have nothing to lose and government money to gain by shoving a piece of paper at desperate women in their most vulnerable moments and aborting these babies. I am not pro-choice, but even if I was, how does this protect a woman's choice?
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Laughing Out Loud
So, I was getting on to check my comments from the last post, and the master decided to read over my shoulder. He got to Tami's, "You are so together," and--kid you not--burst out in full belly guffaws. I had to smile myself when I read it, but honestly, did he have to LAUGH OUT LOUD? Cari, fess up, you are laughing, too.
Tami, if you could see my house, you would KNOW that I definitely do not have it all together. I put everything on hold--cooking, cleaning, basic hygiene, etc.--for the week before fall festival and create. I don't know why, but I really have alot of fun wit
h costuming. The kids get into it as well, but probably only because I have conditioned them with years of elaborate dress-up. In another life--without the chuckling husband and kiddo cast--I could see myself as a Broadway designer.
Tami, if you could see my house, you would KNOW that I definitely do not have it all together. I put everything on hold--cooking, cleaning, basic hygiene, etc.--for the week before fall festival and create. I don't know why, but I really have alot of fun wit
h costuming. The kids get into it as well, but probably only because I have conditioned them with years of elaborate dress-up. In another life--without the chuckling husband and kiddo cast--I could see myself as a Broadway designer.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Return to Oz
They were a HUGE hit at the fall festival. Here they are: Dorothy, ToTo, The Scarecrow, The Tin Man, The Cowardly Lion, and Glenda the Good Witch.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Coming Up for Air
Well, I have a few more sequins to sew on...a little magic with the glue gun on finishing touches and I am done with Fall Festival Costuming 2008. And it is going to be a good year. Ultimate cuteness. I'm a little disappointed with Randy's outfit, but I think, in context with the other's, it will be o.k. I couldn't find the right type of fur at any of our fabric/craft stores, so I had to improvise with a much shorter nap than the pattern called for. And the dye bath for Cara's costume didn't quite come out the color I was hoping for--but at any rate--it is done. Again, I'm hoping the overall theme will pull it off. Aren't you dying to see them? Tune in tomorrow, friends it is worth logging on for.
The master went to Houston yesterday morning. He had two solid days of fittings and this afternoon walked out of the office with his FINAL prosthetic. This one has a working ankle (his real ankle was fused) and it also has a pump to return his energy, so he will be able to RUN!! For the first time in his life. I can't wait to see it.
The master went to Houston yesterday morning. He had two solid days of fittings and this afternoon walked out of the office with his FINAL prosthetic. This one has a working ankle (his real ankle was fused) and it also has a pump to return his energy, so he will be able to RUN!! For the first time in his life. I can't wait to see it.
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