Eight Hearts

New Blog

2011-09-24T21:36:00.000-07:00

This blog is done! Please join me at my new one.

It Begins

2011-08-22T18:45:00.000-07:00

The master said good-night to some very exhausted first-day-of-school kids. The last door at the end of the hall is K's.
The master: Good-night, son.
K: Good-night, Dad. Hey, Dad? Could I please keep my sideburns?
The master: K, you know your mother is going to throw a fit about those. I don't think there is a chance she is going to let you keep them.
K: (crestfallen) I know, but I found out the chicks dig sideburns.

Wondering exactly how did he "find out" this information? And planning on a trip to the barber TOMORROW!

So THIS is Open Adoption

2011-08-10T21:15:00.000-07:00

We've been texting, mailing and messaging photos,since the day we brought him home. We've even talked on the phone...and Monday, God willing, we will see her again. And she will hold Levi. And meet the other children. And I'm nervous. I find myself wondering if she will approve of him--of how we are taking care of him. And then I tell myself, how stupid that is. Because I know that he is where she wanted him to be and far over and above that fact: Levi is where HE wanted him to be. He was meant to be here in our family. But then I notice that his nails need a trim, and I think, "Oooh, I gotta get the clippers, can't let D see him with unkept nails..."
And then there are The Children. Their cute little mugs staring up from the pages of our Dear Birthmother Book might very well have been the deciding factor in her choice. But Monday she will meet the real show--coming to her live, loud, and in person--and probably in her lap. And I wonder what they might say..or ask. Should we coach them with a list of do's and dont's? Or will that make our meeting all the more stilted and forced? Will they meet her and automatically and effortlessly invite her into our circle as they do with church friends, neighbors, the Wallmart Check-Out Lady? Oh, I hope so. And why is it so easy for children to do that?
The last time we talked on the phone, I said, "I love you." It just popped out. I always say that to my family. But I didn't know; I didn't realize she would feel like family. I was surprised to hear myself say it, but I instantly realized it was true. I do love her. And if that sounds a little...off...to you, well, I can relate.
I remember our very first homestudy interview for Marina's adoption. The social worker asked, "How did I anticipate feeling about the birth family and the birth mother in particular?" At first blush, I thought that was a stupid question. Ummm...duh, we are here for a Russian adoption. What birth family? The child will be in an orphanage, without family, abandoned. But of course I knew that wasn't a good, open-minded, adoption savvy response. So I distinctly remember telling her that I didn't anticipate any strong negative emotions (and having positive ones never crossed my mind) toward the child's biological relatives--perhaps, in their situation of extreme poverty, leaving the child in the orphanage was in every one's best interest. However, I indicated that I might feel differently if I knew my child had suffered at their hands. When she prompted, "Such as..?" I gave her a long list: "abuse, neglect, alcoholism, drug addiction..."
My babies by adoption have endured all of these evils and then some. And yet, I am not angry at their birthmothers. Sometimes I am angry--but it is at the darkness at work in the world. For them I feel only sadness, regret, pity, hope and yes, love.
And D? When I told her I loved her, she choked on a sob. What kind of a life does one live that hearing that sentiment overwhelms you? I cannot imagine.

Fourth of July

2011-07-06T19:19:00.001-07:00

I have become increasingly concerned over the last few years with the direction of our nation. I don't want to be an alarmist, but at times I grow fearful; what kind of country will my children inherit? Will it still be "land of the free, and the home of the brave?" Ironically, it was Abby who reminded me that, for all her faults, she is still the land flowing with milk and honey.
Two weeks ago the master brought home some used office water bottles and put them on the front porch. He's pack-rattish that way. Well, they sat out there until I got tired of looking like an episode of "Samford and Sons." I asked him to find a useful purpose for them, or put them in the dumpster. He brought one of them in and told the kids it would be our bank for Disney. Whatever we collected in the bank would be our spending cash for our trip. Well, we had some industrious workers after that announcement. They were under beds, digging in sofa cushions, cleaning out sock drawers and scavenging the laundry room shelves. After they had a good layer of coins in the bottom of the jug, Abby made a sign that read, "Disney World Fund" and put it in a prominent spot in the front hall (hoping to catch Papa and Mr. Kenny with full pockets and in generous moods).
Fast forward two days. Abby and I are huffing and puffing up the hallway, toting out a table for the daycare kids to use in their lemonade stand. We were trying to raise the final amount needed to dig a well in India. When all of a sudden Abby stops and says, "Momma. It just doesn't seem right that we have a Disney World Fund and there are children in India who don't have safe water to drink."
Thank you, Lord for these sweet children, who so often put things in perspective. Thank you, that you have chosen for me to be born and live in this nation of abundant wealth. Help me to remember when much is given, much is expected and to be always mindful that this is not my Homeland. I look forward to the day when all of Your children drink from the river that flows by Your throne.

Day Two--Or the Grizwalds Tour Lousiana

2011-07-02T05:58:00.000-07:00

So, yesterday after I posted, we saw a billboard for touring the Tabasco plant on Avery Island. The master has always wanted to do that--he has a deep and abiding love for the pepper sauce. We made a spur of the moment decision to go. It was a pretty cool (or should I say, 'hot'?) tour, but it put us hours behind our gator farm schedule. THEN we hit a horrendous grid-lock in Grosse Tet, which road sign Ian unfortunately read as 'gross tit' and he and Ian pro eded to laugh about half-way to Baton Rouge. That's normally not a long drive, but yesterday, it took almost two hours. The gator farm website said they closed at 6:00, and we knew we were going to miss it. The master just about blew a gasket. Did you know he could do that? Doesn't happen very often, but it DOES happen. The hillarity of the back seats died down. It was one of those rare moments when children instinctively know to maintain silence for self preservation. Long story short, we made the last tour of the day--turned out they didn't follow the specified times--it's a Cajun thing. Wish we would have known that before the apoplexy. When we got to the hotel, they didn't have the suite we had reserved. They had rented the second bedroom and wanted us to pay the same amount for the one bedroom and living room. I don't think so. After much wrangling with the night desk clerk, we were finally settled into the handicap room. There were only two double beds, but additional floor space, so we were back to putting pallets on the floor.
We are driving by grace to Lake Charles. The master has his leg off and we are all griping about the smell. Hoping we do not miss the party.

Road Trip

2011-07-01T08:07:00.001-07:00

Wow! Thought I'd never get the chance to post! Summer is very busy for us, but I'm free from the center for today. We are on our way to Hammond, LA for a surprise visit to the gator farm featured on the History channel's "Swamp People." The kids and the master are huge fans. We've been watching the first season on Netflix. They have no idea where we're headed.
Then tomorrow, we have my nephew's birthday party in Lake Charles.
And anyone who says the world is overpopulated has never driven between Alexandria and Lafayette. Except for the four lanes of traffic, there are no indications of civilization.

Letter to Agency Director

2011-06-01T19:19:00.000-07:00

It is passed time for our monthly update to our agency, so I made myself sit down at the computer tonight. Thought to might appreciate a little Levi news, too.

Dear J__,

Levi James will be six weeks old on Friday. He is taking four ounces of formula at a feeding with three and a half to four hours between feedings. At night, we generally have two bottles, but every few nights he will only wake once (yay!). He can hold his head steady when picking it up off of our shoulders and for brief moments on his belly. He is going to be another laid-back, happy infant—we seem to be blessed with that kind. This is an especially admirable quality considering the other children just about go into hysterics if he cries for more than two seconds, “MAMA….Levi is crying! He is crying, Mama!!” (Do they think I can’t hear?) If he were a fussy baby, I would have to have them all sedated. He is enraptured with his paci and dozens of them litter the house and car. We haven’t had a binkie baby since K, so we must re-train ourselves to NEVER leave home without it.
Both his regular pediatrician and specialist say that he is perfect, and we couldn’t agree more. He is probably knocking on nine pounds now—that is my mom-to-seven/daycare director’s estimate—but we will get an official weight at his two month appointment........ We are so relieved and thankful.
We all love him like crazy.

Love,

Last Night with Seven

2011-05-27T20:13:00.000-07:00

K heads flies to Illinois tomorrow. He will be farming with family for the better part of the summer. Ever since the master's and two other Illinois families left for Texas over 25 years ago, the southern transplants have been sending their children back to farm in the summer. We decided to start a second generation on this tradition.
With K too old for the daycare this year, it just made sense for him to spend time in the fields--forming relationships with his extended family--as opposed to being cooped up as a couch potato in the house. Of course, we are going to miss him sorely. He is our go-to man. I'm sure we don't fully realize how much.
Cara will be devestated. She and K are TIGHT. From the day we brought her home from Corpus Christi, K has made it his personal goal to see to her every whim and fancy. He has spoiled that child. You know, if she has a nightmare, she doesn't cry out for me. She doesn't cry out for Daddy. She calls for Bubba. And Bubba comes running every time. Yesterday, I heard Abby trying to warn her, "You, little girl, are in for a rude awakening. You are going to have to learn to do things for yourself. 'Cause I'm not going to do them for you. Your not gonna boss me around like you do K. No sireee, Bob..."

This is How We Roll

2011-04-30T18:58:00.000-07:00

Planned on having a nice quiet Saturday at home (figured we had a little boredom coming our way)
Enter five nephews and nieces to stay for a few days (their house flooded last night and my sister and brother-in-law needed the kids out from under foot while they cleaned up)
Decide to refinish two dressers and steam clean carpets.
Enter sister-in-law and her two daughters with steam cleaner for the daycare carpets. Exit sister-in-law and children. Exit K (to clean carpets)
Enter mother-in-law.
Enter six of the church family that helped us get ready for the homestudy and five of their children.
32 hamburgers later--
Enter 7 close family friends we haven't seen in forever with a gift for the baby.
Exit multitude at intervals.
It is now 9:00 pm. Our Saturday is gone.
Boring? No.
Quite? Absolutely NOT.
Nice? You betcha.

This Little Piggie...

2011-04-28T20:03:00.001-07:00

Gets to stay home. The agency staff didn't take him with them, so I assume that means we passed. After 48 exhausting hours, we had our homestudy this morning. I was truly humbled at the number of friends and family who came and worked HARD to get this house up to snuff. We were even able to finish re-model on Cara and Levi's bedrooms, which is incredible. They are going to be really cute when we get all the furniture and decor items in, I'll have to post some pics of the final product. Right now, he's mostly hanging out in his bassinet when he isn't being cradled in our arms--and that is most of the time.
It is only now beginning to sink in that we had a baby. Over the weekend. We had a baby. This is crazy. And I guess I will be closing this blog and opening a new one. We are eight hearts no longer.

Good Friday

2011-04-23T01:28:00.000-07:00

Friday morning we woke up late and rolled into our traditional holiday celebrations: enormous breakfast followed by egg dying. I add just put the water on to boil for the dye baths when the master noticed he had a missed call from D and the agency director. Within a space of an hour we went from having a baby early next week to having a baby on Saturday, to having a baby that day. We divied the kids among my sisters and my folks, threw our bags (which were packed for two days of lounging at the family lakehouse) in Daddy's pickup, and flew to Houston. Levi James was born en route. We got a call about an our out that he was here and both baby and D were doing fine. Then T (agency staff person texted me a picture.) We got to see him almost immediately. He's thirty four weeks but just as pink and chubby as you could expect from a full-term baby. Afterwards, we met with D. She looked exactly like I pictured her in my mind. Is that odd or what? She's very pretty and sweet. She talks as though she will be open to contact, at least pictures and updates, so we are excited about that.

The Ride Rolls On

2011-04-21T17:29:00.000-07:00

Let me off I'm going to be sick! It had already been a crazy day at work, when the master called to tell me something I
Did not want to hear. D--while waiting for our book to arrive--had begun to ask for a choice. In other words, she wanted to look at more than just our profile. The director felt lead to send out an e-mail to the seven families they have "sitting on go" to see if anyone was open to the situation. Then they would be able to tell her honestly that they had contacted all their families and we were it.
Well, they were surprised to receive a response from one couple; they were open.
The interesting thing about this news was that just this morning, I had been thinking about all those couples who wait with empty arms for years because they will not consider opening their hearts to children like my Cara and Marina. I'm not being judgmental--I can only imagine that they might make a different choice if they knew my girls. If I could show them. If they took the chance. In that moment, I felt such a profound sadness for those nameless, faceless couples.
So now I was in turmoil. I wanted to be happy for this couple who were willing to bring this baby home. But now I was so selfishly disappointed. I needed some time to crawl away and cry but the day's demands at the daycare made that impossible. I kept thinking three more hours until I can cry...two and a half hours until I can cry...
I called myself nine kinds of stupid for posting about the adoption. I dreaded telling the children. I even felt mild irritation for our beloved agency--was't one of the first words out of my mouth, "Do you have a family open to this?" This had to be the worst result of assuming I'd ever! Then less than two hours later we got a second call--D CHOSE us! I never thought she would choose us. Never. Turns out she grew up an only child. She said it was lonely, she wants her sonto have brothers and sisters.
Brothers and sisters? Done. ;0)

Nine Hearts?

2011-04-20T21:17:00.000-07:00

I'm sure those of you who follow me on facebook are dying to get the scoop on today's announcement: the master and I are adopting again. We haven't been holding out on ya'll. We didn't even have an inkling ourselves two weeks ago. This is how it all went down:
Do you remember when I said,

Due to the nature and circumstances of Cara's adoption we can never rule out a call from our agency--should they get a client or infant in a similar situation--but since they have only had two cases in 25+ years and hundreds of adoptions, it is not likely. If they did, it would definitely be a God thing. Would I jump up and run should we ever get that call? You all know me better than to doubt it.

Weeelllll.....that's kinda what happenend. Except,they didn't call us. We called them. Two weekend ago, on our trip down to Houston, I called in when we hit Lufkin to let them know that we were coming so we would be sure of catching them in the office. I noticed Denise sounded sort of stunned which struck me as odd because we go by almost every time we are in the city. Then, as we were getting off the phone, she said that we were, "just the people they needed to talk to." When we got there we discovered that 20 minutes before I phoned, they got a call from a birthmother that matches the profile of both Marina and Cara's birthmothers. I'm thinking, "Oh, they are going to want us to talk with the adoptive couple about our experience. That must be what 'just the people we needed to talk to' meant." It took a while for it to dawn on me that they did not have any families interested in adopting this child. They were actually asking us if we wanted to adopt the baby. We couldn't stay long and they really didn't have much information themselves at that point, so we left with a, "Yes! We are open to this situation should it develop." Cara had her appointment and we enjoyed the rest of the mini vacation. Came home, told a few folks there was a slight chance we might be adopting again. Heard nothing that week. Wasn't until Friday of the next week that we found out that D, the birthmother's, situation had taken a turn for the worse (and it wasn't an ideal situation to start out with)--and while I grieve that she is having to go through this, it made her commit totally to her adoption plan. They hadn't talked about families with her,but we needed to go ahead and get our references together. After Friday, I was feeling like this thing might actually happen; we told a few more people. Then yesterday, an excited, almost anxious Dennise called to tell us that 1) D has been hospitalized with hypertension. 2)The baby may come early. 3)They told her about us, and she didn't freak out that we have six other kids. 4)We needed all our paperwork and a birthmother book NOW.
We've been running ever since. Homestudy visit is scheduled for next Thursday AGGGGGH!!! After pulling an all-nighter, we fed-exed the book with a stack of documents today, found out Danee is expecting a boy, and told the whole cyberworld we are adopting again.
Hang on tight, it is going to be a wild ride.

Time for a Change

2011-04-08T19:53:00.000-07:00

Since temperatures are supposed to top out at 90* tomorrow, I think it is time I took down the snow day pictures, don't you?

Weekend Doings

2011-04-03T21:05:00.000-07:00

Well, really mid-week through weekend doings. We decided to cut out of here late Wednesday night and stopped in Lufkin (which is about half-way to Houston) and spent the night, then Thursday morning we headed on in and stopped by Cara's agency. We like to take her in whenever we are in town for appointments--which are about every three months. We love that she will grow up knowing the ladies that helped her join our family. After her appointment at Children's, we went to Hermann park and played for a couple hours.

Then, we got a suite at a downtown hotel. Did you know it is cheaper to rent a suite than two regular rooms? We didn't. But we will definitely be doing that from now on. Our suite had two bedrooms, a kitchen and a sleeper sofa. Very nice. Friday was zoo day. We had a close encounter with a orangutan. The habitat appeared to be empty, but K spotted him (her?) asleep next to the glass, and while we were looking down on him, he woke up and sat close to the glass for about ten minutes or so just studying us as we studied him. The thing was huge!!! I guess I've never seen one that close up before, because its size really surprised me.

Saturday morning was Marina's birthday party. We did an Americ*n Girls tea party, and boy, did it bring little girls out of the woodwork! All my nieces were here from both sides of the family plus a half dozen of Rina's classmates. We may do more doll themed parties in the future! We had a table for the dolls and miniature tea sets. The girls came in party dresses and we had "fancy" snacks and tea, which they drank out of real china. The girls decorated straw hats for their dolls with ribbon and rosettes and folded paper fans and took them home as party favors. Fun, fun party.

Did orientation for a new worker Saturday afternoon. Daddy and the master grilled out Saturday night and then we let the kids (my six + my sister's five) stay up late watching T*ngled. Somehow we missed seeing this in the theatres. Liked it.

Because none of the gentlemen of the family were invited to participate in Saturday's estrogen bonanza, we also had a bar-b-que lunch after church this morning. I decided at the last minute to have at the church; I didn't want anyone to see my house. So, of course--because, really, when you don't want family seeing the condition of your home, things have gotten WAY out of hand--after Sunday naps, I had a "Lord, I'm not gonna live like this no more" moment and scoured the kitchen. Evening church and choir practice then an offer from a friend in the church to take us all out for pizza. Get home and the master sees the kitchen for the first time since my cleaning rampage, and says, "Woah, what happened in this kitchen?!" and Randy (four years old) says with all seriousness, "I don't know....I think Grandma must have come over." How sad is that?

Almost convinced

2011-03-31T19:18:00.000-07:00

The master has been talking up his new IPhone 4. The "amazing" stuff it will do and all the cool apps. I've never been into cell phones. I didn't even get one until my parents offered to add me to their family plan a little over a year ago. Since then, I've been more than content to use my mom's hand-me-down, bare basics phone--that I am notorious for forgeting to turn on or leaving behind. But sitting here in a hotel room in Houston,checking my blogs and putting up a post using a device only slightly larger than a deck of cards, I am definitely sensing a greater attraction to the cell phone world.

Simple Woman's Day Book

2011-03-23T18:29:00.000-07:00

FOR TODAY...March 23, 2011

Outside my window...some wonderful spring weather.

I am thinking...about the many changes/improvements that need to be made to the center before summer. We hit a new, all-time record of kids in care over spring break--52. We're only licesed for 58.

I am thankful for...healthy children. Randy passed his four year old check-up today (yes, I realize we are running almost a year behind) with flying colors.

I am wearing... scrubs. I'm always wearing scrubs.

I am remembering...spring 1998

I am going...to Houston next week for Cara's appointment, which we may decide to turn into a little mini-vacation--seeing as how the kids were stuck at the daycare for the entire spring break.

I am currently reading...Royal Marriages, and The Gifted Preschool Classroom.

I am hoping...that the master's new boss/best friend sold many, many hearing aids today. Did I tell you that the master is in the hearing aid business now?

On my mind...the season's many activities

Noticing that...my grey hairs are becoming quite numerous

Pondering these words... "When a child disobeys, he is in sin. When parents continually reinforce that disobedience [by failing to correct the child's waywardness], they are in sin." -Gary Ezzo

Ouch.

From the kitchen...not a whole heck of a lot.

Around the house...Girls arguing about bath. Ian measuring a pencil. A couple of doors opening and shutting. One lazy dachshund.

From my picture journal:

Girls with new pet bunny (which they promise, promise, promise to take care of) Oreo.

He Brought Home the Bacon

2011-03-16T18:51:00.000-07:00

Not only did he bring it home, but he fried it up right after church. Home-grown, not-exactly-certified organic bacon. We put the first hog up ourselves as chops, ribs, loin, and tons of ground pork, and Daddy got a good bit for sausage, but I was sorely dissipointed that for all his pig-farming ways, the master did not have the knowledge or the means to prepare ham and bacon. So, we sent some of our last little piggie (over 400 pounds) to a smokehouse for curing. Real bacon is nothing like what we buy in the grocery store. It is meat--hardly any fat at all--rather tasty. Kids are saying, "Dad, I don't like it, I love it!"

Simple Woman's Daybook

2011-03-14T19:30:00.000-07:00

FOR TODAY...March 14, 2011
Outside my window... breezy, exceptionally clear night.
I am thinking...What a marvelous difference that one little hour makes. I actually have a tiny smidgen of energy at the end of the day. Oh, blessed sunlight! You will be hearing more from me in the weeks ahead--or at least until baseball season hits full swing.

I am thankful for... that the first day of spring break at S*nnyside was not the nightmare I dreaded, but turned out....sunny.
I am wearing... Thomas the Tank scrubs
I am remembering...my dog Sheba. These spring nights remind me of sitting on the front porch swing after school and petting her shaggy, black-rusty coat. Sweet puppy. (Also struck by the memory that there was a point in my life when I had the time to sit on a porch swing.)

I am going...to begin again on painting the house.
I am currently reading...Royal Marriages, The Gifted Preschool Classroom, and Shadows Bride.
I am hoping...to nail down several upcoming events in my life, Sunday school fellowships, birthday parties, CIA functions...
On my mind...the suffering Japanese
Noticing that...I feel more connected to myself when I write (journal, blog) regularly.
Pondering these words... "The anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God."
From the kitchen...After all that cooking I did over the weekend, we ate out tonight. So, what is up with that? But Monday nights at Carino's are more of a family tradition than anything else. Monday is half-price family platters. We can eat cheaper there on Mondays than we can at McDonald's.

Around the house...relative order and truly filthy floors. Clean laundry thanks to my beautiful, blessed mother-in-law.

From my picture journal:

Who could resist those eyes?

He's Still Working Miracles

2011-03-13T20:38:00.000-07:00

In two short weeks we will celebrate her seventh birthday. Born two months premature to a heroin-addicted, alcoholic terminally ill prostitute in a country still desperately trying to recover from a fifty year reign of Darkness. Labeled with pages of dire diagnosis for her mental and physical development. Taken to a cold, sterile orphanage of 125 other abandoned children in a city of 69 such institutions. Placed in a group of 24 infants and two caregivers--who held her as little as possible for fear of a disease she did not carry. Her head became mis-shapen from laying in the same position in her crib, elongated on the sides, protruding forehead. Waiting--alone, yet, not alone--for over a year.
This same child reads above her grade level.
She, whose greatest dilemma in life is deciding which of her dolls she is going to play with.
This same child made a perfect score on her mid-term math test.
Last week, the pediatrician, declared this same child, "as healthy, beautiful, and strong a child" as he had ever seen.
This same child cannot walk around in Wall-Mart without drawing stares of admiration and compliments on her beauty.
This same child looked at me yesterday with tears in her eyes and shock in her tone and said, "Momma! Do you know what Sadie said on the bus? Momma! She said no one in her family prays!"

Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways!
For WHO HAS KNOWN THE MIND OF THE LORD, OR WHO BECAME HIS COUNSELOR?
Or WHO HAS FIRST GIVEN TO HIM THAT IT MIGHT BE PAID BACK TO HIM AGAIN
For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen. Romans 11:33-36

In the Kitchen

2011-03-12T18:46:00.000-08:00

Spent most of today in the grocery store and kitchen. I tried my hand, once again, at cooking-for-a-month. We have to do something. With the master and I both not getting home until six-ish after working twelve to fourteen hour days, we've been eating out two or three times a week. It is killing our budget (Dave would be ashamed of us) and after a certain point, it isn't even pleasurable. I've started to crave my own cooking.
I didn't quite make a month's worth of meals, though. I've yet to see that whole, "cook for a day, eat for a month," gimmick work out, but I do have meals for a week, plus ingredients on hand and plan to see us through March and into April. We'll have Rachel Raye's Pasta Pesto tomorrow, pinto beans and rice for Monday, Tuesday pork chops and Catalina, Wednesday dinner is at church, Thursday pelmini, and Friday hamburgers.
I'm also hoping to teach K and Abby some simple meals that they can be responsible for coming home from school and preparing for the family, but that too, requires an initial time investment, that I'm not exactly sure when I can work in, especially now that baseball season is upon us. Abby knows how to make homemade pizza and last week, I taught her how to make meatballs, and she is eager to try her hand at more, but whenever I bring up my brilliant plan to K, he keeps saying "I don't know how to cook." With a tone rather reminiscent of my father when he would say, "I don't know how to program the VCR." Suggestions on how I can inspire him to culinary greatness--or at least willingness?

What A Week

2011-03-04T18:36:00.000-08:00

Thank God it's Friday. A common enough phrase, but how deeply, sincerely I mean it tonight. It's actually been a rough two weeks. Should have blogged all through it...now it is too long of a story to retell. You couldn't hang with me for the duration of the narrative, I'm sure. And since ya'll are my friends, I wouldn't ask you to.
How is it that the longer I go without posting, the less I have to write about?
So here is to a better week--a much better week ahead of me--one in which I will blog every day, and you will only read pleasant, funny, or inspiring anecdotes from my life.

Twisted Minds

2011-02-22T16:10:00.000-08:00

Upon Ian's return from a visit with his cousins...

Abby: Hey, Ian, you missed it! We had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner.
Ian: Awww, man! You're lucky. We had field peas and bacon, some meat Aunt Dinah fried on the stove...and rolls.
Abby (shaking her head): Too bad for you!

Saturday Nine

2011-02-05T20:17:00.000-08:00

1. Tell us about a time that you had way too much Jose Cuervo.

Can't tell you about a time that's never happened. But me and my sister did love the song "Jose Cuervo" around the ages of four and five. We could sing every word, and we put on a little concert one Sunday after church...when were having dinner...with company...much to my mother's embarrassment--so I guess you could say we had too much "Jose Cuervo."

2. Do you agree with the following statement: "The older you get, the faster time goes by."?

Yes! Emphatically, yes!!

3. What do you usually do during your "down time?"

Down time? What's that?

4. When it comes to the opposite sex, do you feel you have a grasp on 'em - or do they continue to just surprise you?

I feel I have a grasp on 'em. At least on one. And that's all I need.

5. What is your home town famous for?

Oh, my, you are going to know I'm backwoods when I tell you what we are "famous" (and I use that term very loosely) for: we have a polka-dotted house. That's it. That's our claim to fame. Impressed?

6. How many romantic relationships have you had?

I only had one other serious boyfriend before the master. So, two?

7. What's the best concert that you've ever been to?

Oh, gosh, I'm just not a music officianado.

8. Which famous person would you like to meet? Why?

Sarah Palin. Based on what I've seen, I think I could really relate to her. I mean, I think we could be friends.

9. Has a newspaper or television reporter ever interviewed you? If so, what were the circumstances and what did you think when you read or saw what you said?

We were interviewed several times by the newspaper when we were adopting Marina. For the most part the articles were good, and I know of at least one other family that was inspired to adopt from Russia after following our story, so I'm glad we did them, but I do cringe a little when I read the spin the newspaper lady put on some of the things we said--and a couple of quotes that I swear we never said. Our local funeral home sent us nice, laminated copies that are in Marina's lifebook, and some day, I will have to sit down and do some explaining.

2011-01-21T16:34:00.000-08:00

Found this post on Wife of the Rockstars blog. It spoke to me. I wish I could put this on a fly bill and pass them out at church, send them to teachers in the handy "news from home" envelope, and frame some as lasting reminders for our extended family. I would make it required reading for company--complete with quiz following. Perhaps have some printed in track size for nosey strangers in the grocery store, library, or salon. My additions and alterations in pink

My child has RAD. Reactive Attachment Disordered that is.
And to you she is the most adorable, affectionate, loving child you have ever met. SHe melts you with every smile. He warms your heart with his engaging disposition. I would have to say, "wraps you around her finger with her shy, soft-spoken words, and long-lashed beautiful blue eyes that seem to entreat you, 'love me.'"
In your Sunday school class she is the most well behaved student you have.
In your classroom she always listens and obeys and looks for ways to be helpful.
When you come to our home to visit, she will grab your hand and show you around. SHe will hug you and make you feel like you are the most welcome guest we have ever had. SHe may even convince you that you have some sort of special bond with her.
It is hard for me to tell you that you are not special at all. In fact she does this with everyone. SHe does this with the creepy guy at the mall. SHe does this with the checkout lady at the food store. In fact he does this with just about everyone she meets. Marina does not do this UNLESS the stranger has something tangible that she wants. Then it is like a kiddie version of fatal attraction. Do you realize how vulnerable that makes her? Can you imagine how terrified I am as a mother, wondering how this behaviour will manifest itself at sixteen? And Marina's RAD is extremely MILD.
Except for me.
When I tell you what our life is like you look at me like I am crazy. Oh, yes, how well I remember from Marina's toddler days. You wonder how on earth such a sweet child could do or be all of the things I have said. You start questioning our parenting. You begin wondering if it is really us that has the issues.You just see this cute little child.
You aren't here when she tantrums and screams. You aren't here when she refuses to eat. You aren't here when she eats until she is ill. Thanking God we are passed this. You aren't here for the constant chatter. You aren't here when she stays awake all hours of the night. You aren't here when she triangulates us. Or when she does every possible annoying thing she can think of to each of her siblings. Or steals and hoards their prize possessions. You aren't here when she won't share her toys or when she goes crazy because one of her little siblings took something away. Or when she takes her baby sister's training pants or her brother's GI Joe party favor bag--things she couldn't possibly want or need--simply because they had them and she didn't.
You don't see how she can't make eye contact. Or how she fidgets when I come close to her. Or how he gags himself in time out. For us this sentence should read, "Or how she throws herself on the floor like someone having an epileptic seizure when she is disciplined." You just don't see it.
Yes, she is an adorable child.
But, she also has RAD. We don't love her any less. We just have to parent her very different.

We had something come up today with Marina that we've worked and worked and worked with her over. I thought we were passed it, but apparently I was wrong. It is looking like we will simply have to remove the choice--as we did with her wardrobe--from her. Undoubtedly, our life will run more smoothly as a result. Because she will not be put in the position to make the wrong choice over and over and over again. But at what cost? Each time we do this, I feel an enormous sense of defeat.

New Header

2011-01-13T20:10:00.000-08:00

Sorry my header is a bit wamper-jawed. I couldn't find an icy background at cutest blog on the block, so this will have to do. The Christmas themed one had to go.

Would You?

2011-01-06T19:25:00.000-08:00

Over the holidays, at parties, funerals and church fellowships, the master and I ran in to several older people who were widowed and re-married later in life. Some we've known long enough to have known their first spouse, and others we've only known the "new." We both noticed that most of these couples seem less like married folks and more like polite, good friends. It got me thinking. Would I remarry if John went home before me? I mean, before me and after the kids were grown? I don't think it would even be a question if they weren't. Not too many folks standing in line to wed a poor widow woman with six kids. He, he, he....
I don't think I would. I realize my opinion might be different at 50 or 60, but right now at 32, I can't see myself making that commitment again. Getting to know someone--on that level--again? Their likes and dislikes, their funny quirks, who their teacher was in the first grade? It just doesn't appeal to me. Having to share your time with his side of the family (I'm assuming he would also have been married before with children); people who might seriously resent you? I don't think so. I'm sure many people re-marry from loneliness, but I find it difficult to fathom loneliness with six children--even grown--and who knows how many grandchildren, nephews, nieces, church and growing day-care family (children I've helped to raise). The idea of actually being the sole member of a household doesn't fill me with dread--it sounds...nice.
So, would you or wouldn't you? And am I really weird to be thinking about this?

Birthday Boys

2011-01-04T19:21:00.000-08:00

Today is K's 1 birthday. His last before the teens. Though I feel as though I've been cheated out of this final year of "childhood"--he has chest hair for pete's sake! *snif, snif* We celebrated at a local Mexican restaurant with all the family. Love it...no dishes to wash, and I didn't have to clean my house. Which is really good considering the last few days around this place.

Thursday the master started running fever on his return trip from Houston. Friday and Saturday passed with no improvement, and finally on Saturday evening he admitted defeat and called a friend to preach for him. When I got home from church, his fever was back up to 102, with Tylenol, and his breathing was so painful, he brought up going to the hospital to me. I knew the man was for real and truly sick. A few hours later, we left the hospital with several prescriptions and a diagnosis of pneumonia. That was day before yesterday, his birthday. Blech. What a lousy way to spend it. So, tonight was kind of a do-over for him, too. Being sick for a few days and missing Sunday, he let his facial hair go. He shaved it off in stages after we got home from the party. First with Elvis sideburns, then the above pictured fuu-manchoo (spelling?), to a simple mustache, and finally a kissable, clean-shaven hubby.

**Just realized after posting that I typed '1' birthday instead of '12th.' Am I in denial, or what?

New Year's Resolutions

2010-12-31T18:59:00.000-08:00

As chronicled by Abby five minutes ago my notes in red:

Mom--to go to bed earlier
Dad--pay off a bunch of bills
K-- not available for comment
Abby--be able to do the splits
Ian--Do a back hand-spring "I'm already talented in many ways, and soon I will be able to do back hand-springs." Well, nothing wrong with that child's self-esteem. May have to work on humility...
Marina--Be able to do cartwheels
Randy--Ride my bike without training wheels, and do tricks on my skateboard.
Cara--to get on the potty by myself. Ahem, I think the big sisters regularly sent to do this chore may have prompted her "resolution."

And since I'd like to get going on my resolution....Goodnight!

Thursday Night Nothing

2010-12-30T18:01:00.001-08:00

I'm making a new year's resolution to blog more, so I better get a running start. Christmas was great. My dad said it was a good thing we are all so poor. Otherwise, we wouldn't have had room in the house for the gifts. It's true. It took well over three hours to open presents on Christmas morning. Even when we feel we are stretched to the absolute end, we still have so much.
The master, Abby, and Cara are on their way back from Houston. Master had his prosthetic greased and oiled and Cara had her three month check-up. She's doing great! She is 25% in height and 50% in weight. That's her round little belly. I could just eat it up! Abby went along as bathroom escort and official keep-Daddy-from-dozing-off side-kick.
Since the master was on his way south long before dawn, I had to open the daycare at 5:30. Then, I spent the better part of the day entering tax information for my daycare parents. I hate paperwork. Hence, I have a terrible headache.
Randy is tracking ants (Will we never be rid of them??!!)
Ian read me a bedtime story.
Marina is tucked in tight.
K is taking a shower.
Goodnight all!

Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T20:46:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope yours was as blessed as mine. I'm stuffed and feeling drowsy and the master needs the computer to download IWorship for tomorrow's service, so I will have to give you a longer post later.

Update

2010-12-18T20:57:00.000-08:00

Talked yesterday with S________ about how birthmother's visit was going. She said it was going good--that they were able to talk through things, and make peace with the past. Then she said, "I've decided that she is my sister. Because Mom is my mom, and nothing is going to change that, and Mom is her mom, too. So that is what she is going to be. My sister."
How wonderful that she came to that conclusion on her own. I see now how wise M____ (adoptive mom) was to allow her freedom to choose what role her birthmother would play.

Holiday Picture Potpourri

2010-12-15T20:19:00.000-08:00

We began the season with Thanksgiving in Illinois. Remember two years ago, when I posted that Grandma Z would not be with us much longer? Well, I've never been happier to report that I was wrong. We had a great time, love our extended family there, and wish Texas and Illinois were closer.

As soon as we returned, we visited the tree farm and took the lovely pictures you see in my header. After finding the most beautiful tree there to be our very own, we visited the master's uncle, where Aunt Myrna treated the kids to their first Christmas goodies of the season, and snapped many photos.

We almost forgot about the Christmas parade that Abby's dance school marched in. Luckily, one of our dads at the daycare made a comment about going to the Christmas parade in town, or we would have missed it.

Cara at the Christmas parade. I love this picture.

And speaking of Cara, lookie what we can do now. BRAIDS!! So adorable. It makes it hard to decide whether to trim it again into the precious "Dora" cut, or let it grow so we can do more styles. This picture was taken right before we went to Grandma's birthday party. Her shirt has Christmas cookies and gumdrops and reads, "Sweet as Grandma's lovin'"

We revived an old family tradition and made the Nachitoches Christmas Lights Festival for the first time in five or six years. Mom, Dad, sisters, and 12 children on a riverbank for ten hours and we still enjoyed our day. Pretty amazing. And, as is obvious from K's expression, the fireworks were AWESOME!

That brings us up to the first weekend in December. What a crazy time of year!

Truth Hurts-Episode ?

2010-12-14T19:53:00.000-08:00

We have a young lady in our church who also happens to be our neighbor. She is a fun girl who does quite a bit with our family--I think I've had her pic on the blog before. She came over tonight to stay with the kids while we did a funeral visitation. Tomorrow is a big day for her. She will see her birthmother for the first time since she was eight years old. She only saw her sporadically from the age of four until then. Her and her brother's young life with their birthmom was neglectful and traumatic. They were subsequently raised and, a few years ago, officially adopted by their maternal grandmother. She told the master she was nervous about the meeting--particularly over not being sure about what to call her.

The master: Well, did you talk with your mom about that?
S: We talked about maybe calling her Aunt _________, but that's weird 'cause she's not my aunt. Then my mom said I should just call her what feels natural.
The master: What feels natural?
S: Mom

After she left, the master wondered if that had hurt M_____ to hear S ______ say that. I didn't think so. S_______ calls me mom all the time, and I've heard her use that name with several other women in the church. I've never been comfortable with it, knowing what I do about attachment, but hadn't the heart to ask her to stop. Especially since she would view it as a rejection. At any rate, the "mommy shopping" behaviors, don't seem to bother M__________, so I doubted she would be overly hurt by the comment. But I knew I would if my child said that to me. It would cut me to the quick. I secretly even hope that my kids will not grow up and call their mother-in-laws 'mom.' I grabbed the first child that came into arms reach--Marina--in a bear hug and half-jokingly cried, "But don't ever let me catch one of you calling someone else 'mom' You hear me? I'm your one and only." I wasn't thinking about Marina being adopted. I would have said the same thing to any of them. But she looked up and said, "Well, there is my birthmother."

Me: Thinking, well, duh, Jessica. But you know sometimes I really do forget. Yes, but you don't have to worry about what to call her. She is your 'birthmother.' only term we have used, with the exception of telling her that she does have her birthmother's name.
Marina: But what will I call her when we go to Russia and I meet her? this blew me away because Marina came up with this idea on her own and remains smiling and relaxed in my arms. She does not seem threatened at all. Up until recently, we couldn't mention the possibility of traveling to Russia without a complete shut down.
Me: Please don't think I am cruel for my next words. I have to tell her the truth as hard as it is. Marina, remember? Your birthmother was very, very sick. The kind of sickness doctors don't know how to make better. She most likely did not live much longer.
Marina: Is that why I was left at the orphanage? I am totally amazed at this point because this is the first time ever that she has seemed to grasp that
1). The orphanage was a place she lived in--as opposed to a lousy daycare where she spent an unpleasant visit and
2) I DID NOT LEAVE HER THERE.
And still she is relaxed and making eye contact.
Me: Yes, she was too sick to take care of a baby--any baby. Even one as beautiful and wonderful as you. Picking her up and smothering her face and neck with kisses.

She lets a giggle escape and skips off. I watch her go, thinking that this has been the least painful of our adoption talks. Then I look at the master and his eyes are filled with tears.

Christmas Wrapping Skin

2010-12-05T22:57:00.000-08:00

Love this time of year. And love the fact I got a new blog skin up before it passed me by.

For the Record

2010-11-16T16:33:00.000-08:00

I am not Super Woman. Today, I'm not even Mediocre Woman. I'm tired and whiney and heartsick and small. Today, all the little thanksgiving clips on facebook make me sick. Today, my children are the worst behaved kids I know. My husband is the most unsympathetic. Today, my employees were mouthy. My students were inattentive and loud. Because I was in a hurry, I got caught by every red light and the train. My dachshund won't poop outside. Today the new foster child in my daycare came with no shoes, but plenty of lice, and a raw, painful diaper rash, and I am mad as hell that she has been treated this way and frustrated at how little I can do to help. Today was my payday, but I didn't get paid--again.
And tomorrow I will feel ashamed for my crappy attitude about it all. But not today. Today I am going to bed.

Life Lesson

2010-11-10T18:49:00.000-08:00

Abby got a rabbit for her ninth birthday. We discovered that rabbits do not make very good pets. Even though Abby made every effort to befriend the recalcitrant bunny, she would not return affection, but scratched and clawed (as rabbits are want to do) at each overture of affection. After a few weeks, Abby stopped trying. Then in another few weeks, she all but forgot the animal. We were constantly reminding her to feed and water the rabbit. I began to tend it myself, when I would think of it, and I was forever finding its bowl empty and the water tower dry. We've scolded and nagged and warned Abby that if she didn't take care of Lollipop it would die. And on Monday it happened. Marina noticed the rabbit "sleeping" in its hutch as they walked by after school. Probably a combination of cooler nights and irregular, inadequate nutrition were to blame. There was no sign of predator attack or sickness.
Abby was more upset than I have ever seen her. She was simply devastated. When I asked her if she was sad because her rabbit was dead or if she was upset because she was partly responsible for its death, she sobbed, "Because I killed her." The next morning I found this note. And for the record, I did not read my daughter's diary. She put it on top of a stack of her art work in plain view. I also checked with her about re-posting it on my blog.
I give you permission to smile or even chuckle at this note. I did. I couldn't help myself. I'm sure--many years from now--Abby will be able to see the humorous side to this tragedy, too.
I truly regret that Lollipop died, and any time your child hurts like that, you hurt as well, but I'm glad Abby is learning this hard lesson now--at the age of nine with a pet rabbit--as opposed to later, when human lives and relationships are depending on her. When you don't take care of your responsibilities, others suffer.

Because of Me

Because of me a poor rabbit is dead. I am the one to blame. Everyday I should have fed it and petted it for at least 30 minutes. But I didn't. So now in a rabbit cage there lays a stiff as stone rabbit, eyes closed and not breathing. I disspear (she means despair) greatly. I will not get another pet until I'm grown. Some people don't know how bad it feels when you cause a heart to stop beating. Right now my hand and the ground around me is splashed with my tears. I'm afraid the more I write, the more guilt I feel. So, I'm gong to stop now. But remember, take care of your pet, because I didn't, and she died.

Because of me, Lollipop is dead.

Sleeping Beauties

2010-11-07T20:33:00.000-08:00

Fast asleep in her big girl bed. She threw her hand over her eyes when I flipped the light on. I gently moved it out of the way so you could see a little more of her cuteness. Sundays are still rough on her.

Here are my two squirrels. They have bunk beds, but always sleep curled up together in a nest of many sheets and blankets. Unlike Cara, they did not flinch when the light came on.

Marina went to sleep in her church clothes and silly bands. Silly girl. She tends to pull the fitted sheet off in her sleep that is why you can see the mattress peaking through.

Princess Abby sleeps with no less than seven pillows to buffer her slumber. She is going to "die" of embarrassment when she finds out I posted a picture of her sleeping. He. He. He.

This big kid sleeps hard. Just like his daddy.

Saturday Nine

2010-11-06T18:53:00.001-07:00

1. What do you see when you are watching the wheels go round?

Does this question have a hidden meaning of which I am not aware? Because I'm not getting it.

2. Do you watch reality shows? Which ones?

I don't have television, but if I did, I would enjoy watching "Baby Story" and "Adoption Story." I'm not even sure TLC still produces those, but I liked them. And the few times I've watched the show with the Duggar's, I liked it. Though it drives me nuts that people are constantly asking me if Iwatch that show when they find out I have six kids. O.K., people, 6 is a few children short of 19. Just so you know. The other thing that rubs me the wrong way on that show is that, she says, during the opening credits, "And, yes, I gave birth to all of them." As though adoption would somehow diminish or illigitimize the marvel of successfully parenting nineteen children???!!!

3. What's your favorite all time reality show?

See question 2.

4. Do you feel "reality" shows are real or are they faked?

Some are definitely faked.

5. What does your personal neon sign say to the world?

There was a neon sign up in the Mexican food restaurant tonight, "Todo por una Bud-Light" Meaning, "Everyone wants one," but literally translates into English as "All for one, Bud Light." Which made me think of the three Musketeer's slogan: "All for one, and one all." I would love for my neon sign to read, "All for One-Jesus Christ." Sad that so often it blinks other, less attractive messages.

6. Ever seen a neon sign with certain letters burned out so that it said something unintended?

Not that I recall.

7. What gives you a headache? Could be a scent, a sound, someone's actions - anything.

Cigarette smoke, lack of sleep, hormonal changes.

8. What song, artist or album in your music collection would you pull out and play if you wanted to give your roommate/neighbors a huge, head-splitting headache?

I bought this CD for Abby on her first birthday. You know, one of those CD's where they sing her name in all the songs? It is extremely annoying, corny, awful. We only play it ONCE a year.

9. What do you do to relieve stress?

I sew or scrapbook. Or blog....

Family Catch Up

2010-10-10T19:08:00.000-07:00

Decided to play a little family catch-up. When we fall behind at the daycare with the week's plans, I say, "Ooooh, we are going to have to play catch-up." Only, the kids all think I'm saying 'ketchup,' but they've learned that playing 'ketchup' means we are going to hurry, hurry, hurry and get a lot done.

The master--Well, the master is continuing to settle into life as a bi-vocational pastor. He's been working for two months, Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday, in a friend's vending machine business (a job he knows all to well) and Wednesday and Friday at the office. But that really wasn't working for our family and it doesn't pay squat. When we figured out that we pay our employees at the daycare better, we decided to make a switch. Starting next week, he will work mornings 8-12 in the church office and the afternoons at S*nnyside. He is also looking at returning to seminary in the spring, changing his masters to Children's Education as opposed to Divinity. Makes sense with us running a daycare and all.

K--Still basking in the glow of last week's trip to Washington DC. He attended a week long leadership conference, flying up there and back on his own. Big steps for my big boy. He came back to the love of his life--football. His team is undefeated and headed to the playoffs. We are considering--for the first time ever--moving him up in grades. He is not impressed at all with middle school and he is way beyond the subject matter. Basically, he spends his time tutoring other children.

Abby--Went back to ballet this fall after a year and a half absence. It seems to be kinda a snooty studio, but it is the only one around that teaches classic ballet as opposed to jazz and contemporary. I know if we stick with it, we will eventually be accepted as "in," but it sure does chaff to pay good money and be given the cold shoulder.

Ian--Did I tell you Ian accepted Christ last month? Well, if I didn't he did! Just before his eighth birthday. I remember because he was baptised on his birthday. Both Ian and Marina started gymnastics, and Ian was moved up to the advanced class after the first lesson.

Marina--It is the change of the seasons so not really fun times with Marina at present. She never does well with the clothing problems that arrive with the cooler temperatures (and again with the warmer temperatures in the spring). I keep hoping she will grow out of it, but days like today I envision her at sixteen still unable to deduct that 45 degree temperatures warrant more than a tank top and sandals--and then dissolving into total melt down when I demand she make a different wardrobe choice.

Randy--Living life large. Four is such a cute age. It's also the age for information. You can really tell that he is sorting out how the world works--from why we have special clothes for church to how to make an apple pie--topics we've covered today alone.

Cara--About to be featured in her very first modeling job! A bill-board for an up and coming daycare in town ;0) See her cover-girl shot below. She is talking non-stop now and even sings her A-B-C's. She loves to start singing--ABC's, Wheels on the Bus, Six Little Ducks, etc.--when we are out in public. Of course, people are very impressed with a child as small as she knowing her alphabet (Which she doesn't. She just memorized the song), and she loves to soak up the attention. Funny, but she is the only one of my children to really "perform" for strangers. I remember C.C. saying that in school she always sang in the choir and had a nice alto voice, so I wonder if she gets her enthusiasm from song from her.

We All Fall Down

2010-09-18T15:18:00.000-07:00

Being in a large family may mean that you have to wear hand-me-downs. You may have to share a room, a bath; well, there may not be many things in life you don't have to share--at least from time to time.

Your piece of pie may be a mite on the smallish side. On occasion your mother may call you by three or four names before arriving at the right one. Strangers may look at you funny and ask crazy questions. But by golly, you're never at a loss when a rousing game of "Ring Around the Rosy" strikes your fancy.

Human Growth and Development

2010-09-17T10:50:00.000-07:00

Found a humorous tidbit of literature as I took my powder room break a few minutes ago. My kids are as avid authors as they are readers, and there is no telling where you will find the latest volume. Apparently, inspiration hit Abby as she sat on the toilette. This piece was actually missing a title, so I have done the honors, but everything else is exactly as she wrote it. You are missing out on the illustrations, which is really a shame, but perhaps it will be good for a few smiles.

You start out as a little baby (Crying baby, bottle, and paci at bottom of page)

Then you turn into a wobbling toddler (slightly larger stick figure with the words "Ma-ma." Da-da written above.)

And before you know it, your a preschooler, and then starting school. (Little girl with backpack)

As you age, you become more advanced, with new abilities and responses. (boy playing basketball.)

And then it seems in no time at all, you're a teen. Thinking you're smarter than your parents. Having a girlfriend and learning to text. That's what's gonna happen next. (Shows made up face of girl)

Time flies. You're now grown-up. Stressing with bills. Worrying about your children. Working a job, having troubles. Yep you're an adult. (Shows financial tally sheet, a family of stick figures, a stick figure pushing a grocery cart. Side note--makes me a little sad that the adult portion is portrayed as such a drag.)

Then your children move out, and you think you are free. Now you are old you see! (shows man and woman using walker and cane moving toward a sign that reads 'Nursing Home')

Your life has flown by. From young baby to old person--what a life!

Evening at My House--Take two

2010-09-16T16:08:00.000-07:00

Abby wants you to note that she got her long hair cut yesterday. And that she wishes you "peace." Must be a fourth grade thing.

Marina is just back from her Thursday evening visit with Mr. Mark (counselor). Not really sure how much headway we've made--they play cards and CandyLand--but we only have a five dollar copay and she loves the undivided attention. Because of the visits, she misses her afternoon nap--hence the circles under her eyes.

Silly, silly girl here. Said, "Take my picture, Mommy!" Then, "Cheese!" and finally, "Let me see." So, when did she learn to talk?

Randy found this sweatshirt yesterday and has been completely undeterred from its use despite temperatures in the mid 90's.
K was disappointed in today's student council elections. He had thought he was a shoe-in but lost by sixteen points. "Mom. There are only 19 kids in my class." Apparently, his opponent brought candy. In the middle school classroom, candy talks. But his spirits were cheered by fashioning an enormous pipe from foil. (Should I be concerned????)

Ian showing off his new "pet" newt. He discovered it in his room this afternoon. We will be releasing him in the wild soon (as in after dinner).

I realize I did this a few weeks ago, but it is the best way I know for jumping back into my blog after being gone a while. Plus, I figure when I am bent and grey, these are the post I will cherish the most.

First Day of School

2010-08-23T16:15:00.001-07:00

Children went back to school today. It was a big relief for general daycare operations and my own children were eager to get in the swing of things. Don't ask me why they are leaning in this photo. I was already at the daycare when the official "back-to-school" pictures were shot. No new children starting school this year. Randy would be old enough to attend the district's half-day pre-k, but since I assure the parents that my center will have their children "kindergarten ready," I figure sending my own child off would not be good advertisement for my business.

Saturday Nine

2010-08-21T18:36:00.000-07:00

Saturday 9: Welcome Back
1. Where were you the last time that someone welcomed you back?
In my front yard. No, wait, that's not right. I went to a teacher conference last week, and when I went back into the daycare that afternoon, I was welcomed back by MANY small people.

2. Tell us who is you favorite non-family member to hang out with?
Gosh, that is a tough one. Can't say for sure about one particular person, it varies so widely depending on my mood and the circumstances, but I was thinking the other day, how I would love to slip back in time to college and spend a few days lounging on the beds in the dorm rooms of Merle Bruce, brushing each others' hair, talking and laughing...those were some good times.

3. What was the last thing that happened to anger you?
See prior two posts.

4. What was the last thing that you saw that was shocking to see?
Usually it is something I hear about that shocks me. Not something I see. I guess the last thing I first-person saw that truly shocked me was meeting Cara's birth mother two years ago. What drugs and degredation had done to the body, mind, and spirit of what had been a beautiful young woman was so disturbing, I still wake in the night and cry over that memory.

5. What is your favorite thing to do on Saturday besides Saturday 9?
Sleep in.

6. Have you had your summer vacation yet? If yes tell us about it.
Besides weekend getaways to the lake house, we haven't had a vacation this year.

7. Pick out one of your cousins and tell us about them.
My cousin Karen is five years older than me. She and her sister inherited all the beautiful Native American features--high cheekbones, almond-shaped eyes, and jet black hair. (My sisters and I got the shaft.) She is HILARIOUS. She just had her first baby in April. It's been fun and...wierd...to read her new mommy posts on facebook, because I always looked up to her as a kid and now I think, "Oh, yeah, been there. Done that."

8. Do you have any special plans for next week?
Kids go back to school.

9. At what age will you consider yourself old and why?
I think 72. Not sure why that number just popped into my head.

Update

2010-08-19T18:27:00.000-07:00

The master is still employed at the church with an 83% vote. I would say something regarding the other 17%, but my husband thinks that I shouldn't and he is reading over my shoulder. Suffice to say, I hope they will be very happy wherever they end up.
Thank you all for your prayers. There was no visible ugly last night.

Prayers Requested

2010-08-17T16:52:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted (much) about the L-O-N-G drama of church, but since sometime before Easter, we have not had an easy time of it. That is putting it far too mildly, but I digress...
What it has boiled down ('up?' because I've no doubt that the fires of hell itself has fueled it) to is a vote of no confidence in the master tomorrow night. He has the support of a majority of the church--if it had been otherwise, he would have resigned months ago--but, according to the by-laws of the congregation, the vote must be carried by 75%. That is a rather high percentage, and we know that the people who are opposing him have been on a phone campaign and will undoubtedly bring as many members as they can dig up to the vote tomorrow night.
Side note: Can we get any more childish? Are we really going to drag His name through the mud before a lost and dying world? Really? How did we come to this?
At this point, I don't know how to pray for this situation. If the minority succeeds in running the master off, it will surely kill the church. The majority who love and support him are also--coincidentally--the ones who actually do the work of ministry. Many will leave if he is forced out. But he has been hurt very badly by these people. It's been ugly. That's the only word for it. Ugly. A 'no' vote would be almost like a release from prison. Permission to shake the dust off our feet and move on.
So just pray for God's will to be done. And especially pray for no more ugly. O.K.?

And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us: and establish thou the work of our hands upon us; yea, the work of our hands establish thou it. Psalms 90:17 emphasis added

Big Girl Bed

2010-08-14T19:52:00.000-07:00

Yes, she was using the potty and speaking in full sentences, but still slept in a crib. No longer. We dug out the old toddler bed today, slapped on a new paint job (it was looking sad and pitiful after Marina, Randy, and two moves), and gave Cara her final "your not a baby any more" promotion. As you can tell she is pretty darn excited about it.

Saturday Nine

2010-07-18T19:37:00.000-07:00

1. When was the last time you were told to go your own way?

Don't know that I've ever been encouraged to go my own way. I've gone my own way too many times, and the end thereof is pain and destruction.

2. What one experience has strengthened your character the most so far?

O.K., aside from meeting and falling in love with Jesus, I don't think I could pick just one. Here are just a few life experiences that come quickly to mind: as a child watching my grandmother decline with Alzheimer's and my mother take care of her, participating in missions as a teenager--culminating in a summer spent in California, having secret sin publicly exposed and being restored, becoming a mother, adopting my daughters, losing our house in a hurricane, my husband losing his leg...

3. What's your favorite thing to do on a rainy day?

Read

4. How long can you go without your cell phone?

Forever

5. Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

No. We had a nice little mini-trip to Dallas this weekend for a pastor/pastor's wives retreat, and I'm enjoying being home.

6. Of all the people you've ever known, who have you most feared?

My mother. She's going to be really ticked when she reads that, but it's true. Perhaps 'fear' isn't the correct term....'healthy respect'?...Nah, going to have to keep 'fear.' Sorry, Mom.

7. Do people tell you that you look your age?

Wouldn't that be a horrible thing to tell someone? "Girl, you are looking your age--and then some."

When people find out that I have so many children, they will often say, "You don't look old enough to have that many kids!" I used to find that pretty irritating, but the older I get, the more complimentary it seems.

8. Your ex shows up randomly at your house, what do you say?

Don't have one.

9. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

I don't believe we deserve a first chance, but praise God, He doesn't give us what we deserve.

The Evening in Pictures

2010-07-13T17:23:00.000-07:00

Here is the cute diaper-less (going on three weeks!!) girl who likes to run around my house in her pj's.

Two adorable rogues who play in the woods behind my house until they are called in for dinner...

The two lovely young ladies who cheese for the camera whenever the opportunity arises...

The handsome hunk who will soon delight his family with a delicous supper from his new Father Day grill...

The studious lad who sneaks off to the couch with a good book (Sherlock Holmes is the latest)when he can...

And the gorgeous bouquet he picked for me after a long morning of work in the pea fields.

Wall*Mart Wake Up Call

2010-07-06T18:18:00.000-07:00

So we went to the lake for the holiday, and I decided that the children and I would attend services in the tiny Louisiana town that sits some 15 miles away (incidentally, the same town my Daddy grew up in). The kids are just not worth living with if you do not take them to church. They will sermonize you to death.
"Isn't this Sunday? The Lord's Day?" confused and perplexed
"We aren't going to church?!" aghast
"But I want to go to Sunday School and learn about Jesus!" pleading
What is a mom to do? The good little Baptists had all packed their Sunday clothes, but their mother--the reprobate--had not. I decided I would whip into the old fashioned Wally-world (I bet you didn't even know they still existed) and grab a dress. They did not have any dresses in the ladies department except three marked down on the "plus" size wrack. I looked at the purple glorified moo-moo and shook my head. Certain that the thing would simply swallow me, I grabbed a belt and went to try it on.
I was shocked to find that it didn't swallow me. It did not need a belt. Besides being a little roomy in the bust, It looked like it was made for me. I cried.
I quit my aerobics class months ago--it wasn't feasible with the daycare schedule. And meals had become a matter of catching what I could when I could. Most often that meant high-carb, high fat. In the evenings we were eating out alot. And my daily coca-cola (or two) quickly became my lifesaver and an evening snow-cone run an addiction. Hey, I was working hard, so I deserved it, right?
Notice the use of the past tense? Yes, friends, the master and I and our two oldest children are on a quest to eat right and exercise. Our goal is a BMI in the healthy range (since the master, K and I are considered "obese"--Abby is only "overweight"). For me, that means 30 pounds. Yikes!!! That seems like a huge number. But I can't do plus sizes. They are so NOT "Just My Size"

The Second Time is the Killer

2010-06-28T18:50:00.000-07:00

Coming out of Johnny C*rino's tonight, it began to shower. We turned around to watch the rainbow appear against the purple clouds of dusk. The kids were exclaiming over the beauty when K began to preach...
K: Every rainbow is a sign of God's promise...
Abby: Yes, that He will never again flood the earth with water.
The master: No. Not with water. The next time He will destroy it with fire.
Ian: Oh, snap.

Maybe you would have to know my middle son to truly appreciate the humor of his comment, but trust me, it was hilarious!

In Celebration of Ignorance

2010-06-20T13:11:00.000-07:00

I'd like to take this opportunity to say thank you to my daddy and my husband. Running a daycare is a learning experience. But not everything I'm learning is new. Rather, it is being intimately involved with so many families--learning who they are, how they work, what they struggle with--that is confirming ideas and concepts I've always believed in theory. One of those cliches I'm discovering is actually an irrefutable law: Children need a father.
So, I want to thank my daddy for giving me a childhood where that maxim of truth was irrelevant to me. For allowing me the immeasurable gift of ignorance and innocence. By committing to my mother. By providing for our family. By loving me lavishly and unconditionally--and telling me so. By taking us to the Lord's house and in turn, giving Him the place of honor in our home.
Do you have any idea how rare that is?
I am most blessed among children.
And to my husband, thank you for continuing this legacy of unenlightenment. That even though our children--with tender hearts--grieve for their friends and companions when they talk of "divorce," "custody agreements," and "court ordered visits" (and yes, little children know and use these words), it is sorrow mixed with bewilderment. They have no personal experience on which to understand these things. Pray God they never do. Even from the beginning--when you could have so easily walked away--you've stuck by me and been my true helpmate in loving and raising these children.
Do you have any idea how rare that is?
I am most blessed among mothers.

Cara's Two

2010-06-19T15:26:00.000-07:00

Celebrating Cara's two year old birthday today. I took her out this morning and she and I got our hair cut. It was her first cut and turned out absolutely precious. The stylist called it a Dora cut, and I think she does resemble Dora now more than ever. She screamed like a banshee when we first sat down, which I figured she would and was why I put it off as long as I could. But then another stylist fished out a sucker for her and she was fine after that. Now why--after six children and running my own daycare--didn't I think of that?

When we were done at the salon we went on into J.C. P*nney and picked her out a new swim suit for her splash party. She really does not like the water, but we rented a water slide. What else can you do with a late June party in Texas? The nephews and nieces loved it, and finally--after all the party guests departed--she decided to go up with me. And then she did not want to stop.

She was cute opening her presents this year. Saying, "Oooooh," "wow!," "neat" as she unwrapped the presents. She could even label a few of them, "Shoes!" "Duck...Quack" and "phone." She got her first big girl panties and wanted to put them on right after the party. Hopefully, this bodes well for completion of the potty-training process.

I love this little girl so much. Here is to a healthy, happy second year baby girl.

Header

2010-06-14T16:12:00.000-07:00

A word about the new blog skin. The art work is an original Abby with the words "Eight Hearts" added with permission by yours truly. Yes, I know the Bible verse has a typo. I've gone back to scrapblog three times to try and fix it but it will not save the corrected version. Let this be a lesson to us all, proof read before you export.

Saturday Nine

2010-06-12T18:28:00.000-07:00

Saturday 9: Goodbye to You

1. Have you had to say goodbye to a good friend or lover because they were moving?

My, my, my. I really like Saturday Nine posts, but sometimes the questions just make me blush. You can certainly tell they were not authored by a little ol' fashioned backwoods Baptist girl. Ahem. My freshman year in highschool a close friend of mine moved away and I was devastated. Her father was a minister and he took a new church in another part of the state. Ironically, I remember thinking how I could never do that to my children. Hmmm...

And as for the other, I've only had one, and whither he goest, I shall go.

2. Have you ever wanted to use personal information about someone to sort of "blackmail" them? If yes, tell us about it.

As a young child, I did this routinely with my little sister. But I find even the thought of it detestable now.

3. What two things influenced the choice of your present job or to stay at home?

Opportunity and spouse's encouragement (insistence?)

4. Do you like warm weather? How warm does it get where you live? What is the best way to spend a hot, summer day?

I don't like to sweat, but I like a great many of the activities that come with warm weather. It gets HOT here. 95 today with a heat index of over 100, and the weather man was telling us to enjoy our "break" in the heat. The best way to spend a hot summer day is at the lake.

5. What do you find "hot" in a man/woman? What is the first thing you notice about someone who is hot? Do you ever think of yourself as hot?

Awww, shucks, I'm blushing again. If we can steer clear of the term "hot" I think I can answer this question. First thing I notice is eyes and smile and I've always been partial to short stocky build. Give me a man with some meat on him. I do occasionally think of myself as attractive--following a trip to the salon, a new outfit, a flattering photograph--but have not thought of myself as the other word since my go-go boots and Lycra days.

6. Are you quick to anger? How do you react when you are angry or frustrated? What do you do to cool down?

Yes. If I am really truly angry, I will cry. Is that crazy or what? And I usually recite scripture to cool down. "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry"....sing with me...

7. In your family, who is the least like the rest of you?

In the family I grew up in, it would be my older sister. She always did see things differently. But she is more like us now than she was growing up.

8. What are a few great books that you've taken along to the beach or on vacation in years past? If you aren't a big reader, what do you do to while away the lazy hours?

I always take a few good Christian historical romance and something aimed at improving my life or the effectiveness thereof when on vacation. I wouldn't say the Christian romances are great works of literature, but when you are on vacation, you deserve a little mind candy. I took a novel by Traci Paterson on this last trip and a book entitled--please don't laugh-- "You Can Double Your Class in Two Years."

9. Do you like going outside during a thunderstorm and watching the lightening?

No.

Pride Goes Before

2010-06-05T15:56:00.000-07:00

The older four children were on a trip to a nearby waterpark today. It was their reward for participation in Sunday night children's ministry. I sent them off--declining to serve as chaperon--confident that our children would behave, regardless of our presence (though I did admonish K to stick close to Marina).
I guess you know where this is going, huh?
Who threw a fit when the adult in charge told them to put on a life jacket? Who told the adult that they didn't want to wear a life jacket? (AS IF in their whole entire life they have been allowed the luxury of desires and preferences??!!) Who sobbed and pouted and fussed until we were called? Surely not. Surely not my children.
Ian and Marina
Who dropped what she was doing and made the hour long drive to pick up their sorry--and about to become infinitely more sorry--little tooshies?
Me
Sometimes I need a little hole to crawl into.....and if one of you could be so kind as to throw the dirt in on top of me?

Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall...

2010-05-24T20:31:00.000-07:00

It's been a rough day for my vanity. Tonight, as we were sitting at the ball field, the master asked, "Do you know Cara is spitting ice in your lap?" To which I replied,"Yes." He continued, "Well, aren't you going to stop her? She's making it look like you wet yourself."
"So far today I've been asked, 'Mrs. Jessica, why do you have a mustache?' 'Mrs. Jessica, what is that growing over your eyes?' and just a few minutes ago, that little girl...," pausing to gesture, "wanted to know if I had a baby in my tummy. When I told her 'no' she stared at my stomach and asked, 'Are you sure?' So to answer your question, No. I don't see as how a little--or even a large--pee spot is going to make matters any worse."

Saturday Nine

2010-05-16T18:02:00.000-07:00

Saturday 9: Lies

1. When was the last time you lied and why?

I don't remember! That could be good--if it has been so long ago that my memory fails--or it could mean that I have a hardened conscience--as in, I don't even notice when I tell a falsehood.

2. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you, where would you go and who would you take?

I think I would go on a FIRST honeymoon with my husband since today is our 12th anniversary. And I wouldn't really care where we went. AWAY. That would be fine with me.

3. What was the last thought before falling asleep last night?

This bed feels good....ZZZZZ. I think that is my last thought most nights.

4. What’s your favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex?

All the men in my life wear briefs.

5. If you didn't have to work, would you?

No.

If you work from home, are there days you’d rather be in the workplace?

The daycare is attached to my home, and I'm actually very thankful for its proximity.

6. What is a secret that you wouldn't mind everyone knowing?

I have a few secrets that would be a great relief for everyone to know, but only in a perfect world. A world where everyone would react the way I wanted them to. Wouldn't that be nice?

7. What’s a favorite movie that you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?

If I tell you, then you would know about it, wouldn't you? That is a bizarre question.

8. What’s you favorite all time medical and why?

I don't know what this question means.

9. What’s the worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?

Not sure. I've made many social blunders in my time. But, right at the moment, I can't think of any relationships that were damaged beyond repair by my stupidity, so that's good.

My Mother's Day Boquet

2010-05-09T10:21:00.000-07:00

K made me cinnamon toast (without the sugar) and Abby wrote me a letter. Ian is holding the puppy that I begged the master for because I think children should grow up with a dog. It is my Mother's Day present. Marina did her part to make it a peaceful morning by matching her clothes without a fuss. Randy ate the chocolate candy from the card he made in Sunday School and Cara took my flower from service. Just another Mother's Day morning. Have a blessed one!

Bubbles

2010-04-30T19:02:00.000-07:00

I'm not supposed to share tales from the daycare, but this only involves my son, so I think I'm safe. As a preliminary note, we were learning about rain this week and I had water in both tubs of the sensory table. Along about Wednesday, someone got the idea to add a squirt of hand soap to the water. Not exactly in keeping with the theme, but I'm supposed to embrace creative thinking and open-ended explorations, right? I let the hand soap stay.
It's center time and I hear several cries of, "Ummmmm, you are going to get in trouble," and, "Mrs. Jessica, Mrs. Jessica, look!" and I see that my son has stuck his head under the water in the sand and water table. Sigh.
"Jeremy Randall S____ get your head out of that water! That is an inappropriate use of the center." I can only embrace so much. "You go get a towel in the bathroom and dry off before you lose all center privileges, do you understand me?"

"Yes, ma'am"

And as he spoke, two enormous bubbles floated out of his mouth. It was like something from the movies. The whole class watched transfixed as they rose in the air and popped on the ceiling. Then we all burst into giggles.

A Different Point of View

2010-04-29T18:51:00.000-07:00

I've been told I'm "better" (as in, "You're a better woman than me.") I've been told I'm a glutton for punishment. I've been told I'm sexually ignorant (in that I must not know what keeps causing this.) Strangers have regarded me as a freak of nature in "that no normal person could manage." Often, people have insisted that I am certifiably insane. But never--with regards to our family size--has anyone stated, implied, accused or even hinted that I possessed this character trait. Until today.
The master preached tonight at an assisted living prayer service. In an effort to preserve our precious family time, we joined him. As we filed into the community room:
Old lady 1: Oh, my he's brought his family with him.
Old lady 2: That can't be his family. He's brought the children's choir.
Old lady 1:You must be right....1..2..3...4..5...6. Are those children yours?
Me: Yes, ma'm
Old lady 1: All of them?
Me: Yes, ma'm.
Old lady 1: All six of them? Really?

Inwardly, I'm sighing, because if there is one place--no, two places--I expect (hope for?) a little break is with the older generation and brothers and sisters in Christ. It didn't seem as if I was going to get that here, and these folks were both. I mentally prepared a half dozen witty responses, flashed my biggest smile, and braced myself for the worst.

Me: Yes, ma'm all six.
Old lady: Six children! Think of it! Don't you feel selfish having six, when all mine are up and gone away from me?

And looking around at six beautiful faces singing hymns at the nursing home prayer meeting, I did feel mighty selfish indeed.

Enlightenment

2010-04-28T18:39:00.000-07:00

While brushing Marina's hair--
Abby: with an equal mixture of shock and awe Mom. If it wasn't for adoption, I'd be the only girl in a family of boys.
Me: Yep, you are right.
Abby: now with wholehearted gratitude Thank you, Lord, for adoption!

Hello, Blog. It's Me...Jessica

2010-04-27T19:11:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in so long, blogger has disappeared from my drop down box. Who would have thought it could happen to me?
But this week, I have had a little breather. Our third full time employee started work on Monday and it has helped the load immensely. Of course, that will all be shot to heck as soon as we open our fourth classroom. The master and my father-in-law began work on the remodel today. The question that is posed to us most frequently these days is this: How is the daycare going?
In case you too are wondering, I'll share. I think you can tell by the infrequency of my posts that it is certainly keeping us busy. We have 36 children enrolled and growing constantly now. We had a dry spell for February and March, but are now averaging three new kids a week. I think in short order, we should come very near our licensed capacity of 58. Few centers, even those with long waiting lists, operate at 100% capacity. As I mentioned, we have three full time employees, plus I teach a class and the master does our after-schoolers.
We had a rather costly plumbing issue at the beginning of February. Something that was bound to happen with pairing a busy daycare with an antiquated septic system, but now that our bathrooms have been tied into our anaerobic system, we don't foresee any huge ($$$$) problems. We may need to put in new air conditioning units in the gym. Right now, the one operating system cools fine, but I'm preparing myself for that not being the case in June and July. After that point, (and this is counting chickens) we should begin making money. Quite a bit of money.
Emotionally, I suppose it is going better than expected. I knew I would love the kids, and I do. When I am away from the center, I am very glad for the break, but I'm still able to tell the children honestly that, "I missed you!" when I return. My licensing lady is someone that I don't feel is out to ruin me--or worse--so that is a huge relief. She came for her second of three visits last month and stayed for three hours, because she couldn't find anything wrong. YAY!! My biggest doubts were of how we, as a family, would adjust. The house is 10 times messier, and June Cleaver has left our home and may never return, but otherwise we're o.k. Sometimes it really bothers me, and I'll stay up to midnight organizing the pantry or folding 8 loads of laundry, but most of the time, I'm too tired to care.
But I miss all of you. Hopefully, with more hands on deck, I will be able to post more.

Pillow Case Dresses

2010-04-05T19:37:00.000-07:00

Wanted to post the kids' Easter pictures. I'm so proud of how the girls' dresses turned out. Mom bought the pillowcases from a vintage linens dealer in Canton, and I sewed them into dresses for the little girls. You can't see it in the picture, but the bottom of Cara's dress is delicately embroidered with a floral pattern. So pretty! Makes me want to go back to Canton and buy that lady out. The pillowcases were pretty yellowed, and one had a bad rust stain on it, but after Mom soaked them in a special solution the dealer recommended, they were gleaming white.

I made Abby's dress, too, but not out of a pillow case. You just don't have quite enough material in a pillow case to cut a dress for a nine year old. At least, not one suitable for wearing to church.

2010-03-14T20:53:00.000-07:00

1. Are you the type of person who jumps into new ventures or do you prefer baby steps?

Hmm....I guess I'm a jumper at heart, but finances usually require that we take baby steps. The master is a planner. He plans a thing to death.

2. Who do you feel believes in you the most?

My kids.

3. When was the last time you were on a stage?

Two weeks ago I made an update announcement in church. Also, the stage is still intact in our sanctuary-turned-daycare-gym. And I swept that on Friday.

4. Tell us about the worst boss you ever had.

O.K., I had this principal when I taught along the coast. I was brought in after the school year started and children were reassigned to my classroom to reduce overcrowding. The parents did not really have a choice in the matter, and they took all of their disgruntled, resentful feelings out on me. They were constantly picking apart EVERYTHING I did. Instead of supporting/defending me, she basically fed the fire all year long by pandering to their silly (I mean bordering on the ridiculous) complaints. It kept the heat off of her very nicely.

5. If the NCAA Men's or Women's Final Four basketball tournament was played in your hometown arena or within easy driving distance from where you live, would you try to attend one the three games?

Definitely not.

6. Of all the clothes you own, what do you feel most comfortable wearing, and why?

Scrubs. Can you say, 'ELASTIC'?

7. On what television show—either past or present—would you like to make to make a guest appearance, and what role would you play?

I would say "StarTrek," but I shudder to think what I would like in those tight spandex body suits. I would have to be of some alien species....a moo-moo wearing one.

8. St. Patrick's Day is on Wednesday March 17th. Do you celebrate and wear green? Drink Green Beer? Ignore it?

I think Mama is sending me a new St. Patrick's Day scrub top.

9. If a leprechaun told you that you could have any amount of money from his pot of gold but it had to be a specified amount for a specified item, how much would you ask for and what would it be for?

$80,000 for this building. But if he wouldn't qualify a building as an item, $24,000 for a commercial quilting machine.

Train Up a Child?

2010-03-07T20:23:00.000-08:00

Through a set of recent, sad events at church (some of those non-bloggable topics), I’ve learned that a general criticism of our family is that we are “too tough” with our children. I find it ironic, as pastor’s children usually carry the stigma of wild hellions, and pastors have historically been faulted for not exercising better control over their households. You certainly cannot please everyone. The idea is that this carries over into the way I teach the children in my (church) classes and the way the master councils families in crisis. Apparently, we come off as not being mercy givers, full of love and understanding.
I’m trying to shake it off. No one has said anything directly to me, and perhaps that is what is most upsetting. An upfront critique is preferable to hearsay and innuendo. Then again, I don’t know how I would respond should someone accuse me face to face. Probably not as Christ-like as I should.
And, after all, this Great Experiment is still in the works. Who am I to say that my kids will turn out all right when the youngest is still in diapers and the oldest hasn’t hit puberty? Even in my few years of experience, I’ve known children who were buck wild heathens who grew up to be fine upstanding citizens and vice versa. Is there really no rhyme or reason to it? I am set adrift by this idea: all of our careful study, hard work, and heartache…for nothing?

My children do not tell me “no.”
They ask for permission before doing something.
They do not ask again if the answer is no.
We tell them what to do. Once.
Our children are expected to take on responsibilities in their own care, that of their younger siblings, and the running of the household.
They are punished swiftly and firmly for disobedience.
We do not remove natural consequences
We do not offer bribes for our children’s obedience.
We demand respect—including the manner in which we are addressed—from our children and require them to extend it to others

Does this strike you as particularly oppressive? They seem to be healthy, happy children. Are they really just chafing under this “heavy yoke,” waiting for the day they can throw it off in exchange for shame and humiliation? It may sound as though I am being facetious, but truly I am in earnest. Though we have read extensively and incorporated many parenting strategies (particularly in regard to bringing up Marina) that were not used on us as children, for the most part, we parent as we were parented. Among my peers, I always felt (and was told) that I had the “meanest” parents growing up, but I never felt unloved, and never struggled with true rebellion. As a young child, I feared deserved punishment and as a teen I had too great a respect for them. By that point, I was—for lack of a better phrase—in the habit of doing as they asked. My parents have a three of three record and the masters’ a four of four. But is it just a crap shoot in the end?
I remember when we were going through the process of adopting Cara, the agency director, a lady who we greatly respect and admire, made several comments about our parenting style during the time we were having our homestudy and following. Once—when complaining about her grown children not lending a hand when they came to visit—stating, “Of course, I didn’t raise mine the way you are raising yours.” I didn’t know whether to feel complimented or censured. I am uneasy any time this woman, whose career it is, to a large extent, to evaluate how good of a parent a person will make, points us out as odd or unusual. It is as though she, too, is curious to see how our method is going to play out in the end. It all strikes me as grossly unfair; the results only becoming apparent when it is far too late for remedy.

Goodbye?

2010-02-26T16:00:00.000-08:00

I'm considering closing the blog. I think my post record over the last two months proves that I don't have the time for it. In addition, the master has forbidden me to post anything in regard to the you-know-what. The children and parents I serve, the funny things they say, and the heartrending, too--all taboo topics. What's really frustrating is he is probably right. I just hate it when that happens.
Since the daycare is consuming about 99.9% of my life at present, there isn't much left over to blog about. Actually, over the last two years, more and more non-bloggable themes have crept into my life. I feel as though I am projecting an incomplete, superficial image. If I can't be honest, what is the point?
I think when we start our Ugandan adoption I will open a new blog, but that will be many months (years?) from now. I will still be reading your blogs, friends, when I can, and posting those inconsequential, centimeter deep, updates on facebook.

Sureal

2010-02-12T17:50:00.000-08:00

I went to bed in Texas and woke up in Alaska. I know for some of my friends a measly 6 inches of snow is hardly noticeable, but around these parts, it's a blizzard. This winter will go down in local history as the year of the "big snow." School was shut down, but my daycare was open, by golly. We tried to squeeze all of those fun educational ideas for snow play in to this day, as for most of my kiddos, it may well prove the one and only of childhood. We built a snowman, painted the snow with colored water, and held a colossal snow ball fight. Here are the few pics I captured of just the S_____ kids:

Here is the S*nnyside snowman. Don't worry, the yellow on his belly is snow paint.

These last two were taken yesterday, before the heavy snow fell. Notice Abby's devilish expression as she pummels her father with a snowball. Probably just as well we live in such a temperate climate.

A Post in Which I Do Not Mention The You Know What

2010-01-28T17:07:00.000-08:00

Long time, no post. My family is all alive and basically well or returning to health after respiratory nasties. Here is a brief update on us:
The master-Is settling into his role as Mr. Mom. He excels in laundry and clean kitchen counter tops. Other areas have been generally forsaken, but we're surviving, and our socks are downy fresh.
K-Looking forward to a number sense meeting this weekend.
Abby-Says she is "overwhelmed" by Odyssey of the Mind. I still don't quite understand what that is exactly, but it something akin to UIL. Anyway, she's certainly been spending long, extra hours at school preparing for it.
Side note--How did I end up with such brainy kids?
Ian-was in BIG trouble yesterday for being written up on the bus and getting on yellow in class. He is eager for baseball to get underway, but if his behaviour does not drastically improve, he will not be playing this season.
Marina-Is starting to read. It is looking as though she is going to be at least an average student, maybe above average academically. I am both hugely relieved and also anxious over this development. More on this later
Randy-Loves his new child care situation. And can that child talk? My word! I suppose K and Abby possessed similar vast vocabularies at his age, but then I had Ian, the deaf and silent signer, and Marina of delayed language acquisition, so I've forgotten.
Cara-Still not walking. She takes steps on her own, but she has no confidence. Her steps are still the halting, hands raised, "first steps" she was taking two months ago. Neither I nor her therapist knows what to do about her.

Sunnys*de Kids and Various Asundry

2010-01-08T16:24:00.000-08:00

I've limped over from the center and am now waiting--exhausted--for the master to return from W*llmart with hot dogs. When he arrives, we will top them with the homemade chili he prepared earlier in the week. The master makes an excellent Mr. Mom. I make a so-so business owner.
I'm just tired and discouraged. Things are going well, but it is hard work and long hours. I found out that I'm licensed for 58. That's ALOT of kids. Right now, I have 11 counting my own. That may not sound like much, but I'm working alone (not strictly true as the master has been coming on his lunch break to get the meal on the table and clean up afterwards) and I have two babies. It feels like a 110! My first employee joins me next Monday. I think the load will be much lightened at that point, if I can just hold on till then. Of course, it also means that most of the tuition will be going to make payroll, at least for now.
I guess since Christmas is over I should change my blogskin, but I haven't an ounce of creativity left to tackle it.
And if I ever get my doctorate in early childhood education, I'm going to title my thesis: "America's Feral Generation." Just so you know.

Institute the Tithe

2010-01-03T20:07:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday, we were visiting my mom and dad, and we went to church with them on Sunday morning. At my home church, the interim pastor--an older gentleman--preached a quintessential Baptist sermon. Of course, he touched on the topic of tithing (as well as drinking, dancing, vulgar language, and the evils of wild women), commenting that if every member tithed, the church's various funds would be funded, and they would have to hold an emergency finance committee meeting to determine what to do with the excess.

***

I know D*ve R*msey, among others, recommends giving your children a regular allowance so that they may practice money management and giving at an early age. We've never been very successful with that. For one thing, five children on allowance would require a lot more wiggle room in our budget than we have heretofore possessed. Also, I dislike paying my children for doing chores around the house. I'm not sure why-I know many families do and I can totally see the logic in it--but it never set right with me. However, the master and I do tithe off of our income and it is definitely something we want to instill in our children.
We have a non-conventional way of teaching the concept of tithing here in the S____ house. One of those things that sort of happened, not something we read about in a parenting book. But I have evidence this week that it is working, so I will pass it along.
I guess it developed out of our frugality (or poverty, however you want to look at it), but I refuse to spend money on a plate of food for the baby when we eat out, and sometimes, there just isn't quite enough of a certain dish or item to go around at home. In these instances, we require the older children to "give a tithe" to the youngest child. At W*ndy's, this means a tenth of their french fries goes to Cara. After a birthday party, a tenth of their goodie bag may go to Randy. You get the idea.
On Wednesday, Abby thought there was just enough grape juice for everyone when she drained the bottle. But after we sat down, I realized that they had forgotten to fill Cara's cup. So I said, "Everyone give a tithe of juice." The children--from long habit--gladly passed their cups to K who oversaw the transfer to Cara's sippee.
As he was topping the now brimming cup and twisting on the lid, he noted, "Mom. You know, that preacher was right. If everyone gives a tithe, there is more than enough. There isn't room in her cup for more. And look! My cup has plenty. We won't even miss the little amount we gave."
Yes, it is amazing how God's way works! From multi-million dollar building funds to a toddler's sippee cup. Every time.

Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do," says the LORD Almighty, "I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won't have enough room to take it in! Try it! Let me prove it to you! Malachi 3:10 NLT

We Did It!!

2009-12-30T10:54:00.000-08:00

Well, friends and neighbors, we finally did it. Licensing agent came this morning and cleared me to care for children! WoooHoooo!! Not exactly sure how many I am licensed for--she didn't fill in that blank on the form. But seeing as how I'm not going to fill up on Monday, I don't suppose it matters. I'll find out eventually. Thank you all for your support.

Simple Woman's Daybook

2009-12-28T15:29:00.000-08:00

FOR TODAY...December 28, 2009

Outside my window... cold and clear

I am thinking... about Wednesday's visit from licensing.

I am thankful for... a happy day with eight children and a return of Internet service after a two week hiatus.

I am wearing... this is what I love about childcare: my uniform. I am wearing new Eeyore scrubs with a thermal underneath. Cute, professional and, most importantly, comfy.

I am remembering... or trying to remember where I stuck all of our non-Christmasy home decor items so that I may pull them back out and put away our seasonal trimmings.

I am going...to visit an elderly friend sometime this week. I've been meaning to do it for months. I'm going. I am.

I am currently reading... suffering under my promise not to start a new book until the daycare opened.

I am hoping... please, please, please, let the state write me a license to care for children on Wednesday.

On my mind...the daycare. Tired of that one part of my life draining so much of my thoughts, focus, and concern--and we haven't even opened yet!

Noticing that...Cara is getting around so much better these days. She is really not that far behind developmentally.

Pondering these words... "The only time success comes before work is the dictionary." But someone assure me. Success does--eventually--follow, right?

From the kitchen... crock pot full of Taco Soup.

Around the house... four children watching new DVD. Cara talking to herself. Outside this circle of family, general order presides. We hosted a HUGE Christmas Eve party (so of course, I cleaned like crazy), and then quit the place the following morning only returning late last night.

One of my favorite things~high-speed internet. I can't lie. It is good to be back.

From my picture journal...

Watch out, world. Here she comes.

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Christmas Burn-Out

2009-12-15T19:21:00.000-08:00

I have 80 ornaments to make. Four more sets of fleece jammies to sew. Fifty Christmas cards to address. Who knows how many presents need wrapping behind the Sunday School door marked, "Esther"? I have one project to paint and one memory book to make. I'm supposed to bake sausage balls for Abby's class party.
And what am I doing? Sitting here blogging. I need an intervention.

Commenting on a Comment

2009-12-12T10:29:00.000-08:00

I appreciate your respectful comments on my blog post "Find My Family." However, perhaps you did not read it carefully.
I did not say "If you have those feelings, I will have failed." You did. I said, "If they cherish the fantasy of being found by them, I would most assuredly feel as though I have failed." I was speaking in the context of life-long dreams, ultimate ambitions, singular obsessions, not natural curiosity and interest. Of course they will wonder! But, if my daughters' whole adult life is wrapped around a consuming passion to be re-united with their biological family members, I will feel as though I've failed--particularly since, in their case, it will most likely prove impossible. It is my blog, and I'm going to be honest. My goal is for them to be comfortable with that aspect of their history, not DEFINED by it. There is a difference.
My husband and I talk often about their birthmothers and encourage them to include them in drawings of our family. We gave them their birthmother's names so that they would always have a piece of their past with them. I will not feel threatened by any future desire to search for them or other biological relatives; on the contrary, I will help them search. The comparison of me to the mother whose "heart would break" if her son searched is actually laughable. I've known adoptive moms like that--whose world would fall apart if their children searched--but it's not who I am. Regardless, I'm going to be o.k. I anticipate my daughters will know this about me; it is their emotional health I'm concerned about.
If you took the time to read my other posts about adoption you would have known that.

Christmas Traditions

2009-12-09T18:04:00.000-08:00

Some random Christmas tradtions for our home:

*Three presents--The children each have three presents under the the tree. Three gifts, because the Christ child only had three gifts. The other day, Abby asked if they could have more than three (actually they get a Santa present, plus the TONS of gifts from extended family) since they had been very good this year, and I told her that as soon as they deserved more presents than Jesus, they could have more than He had. They laughed, "Awww, Mom, that will NEVER happen." My point exactly.
*This one developed just by chance. One year, I ran out of name tags. I wrap each child's gift in a certain wrapping paper (i.e. all of Ian's gifts are wrapped in the red ornament paper, Marina's in the green tree paper, etc.). I cut a little square of paper and adhere it to a poster next to their names. We don't have to spend time searching for the name on Christmas morning. We know at a glance whose is whose. This year, I'm keeping the decoder poster top secret. They don't know which paper is theirs. It has been fun hearing them discuss the possibilities, "I think mine is the purple Santa paper." "Maybe K has the snowmen paper." They will have much harder time guessing their gifts.
*Holiday hookie--I let the children stay home from school and do holiday baking. This is a tradition I grew up with. It was always a favorite, because any other time of year, my mother was a stickler for school attendance. I felt so special being at home when I wasn't sick.

Please Tell Me...

2009-12-04T18:53:00.000-08:00

Please tell me this looks like a juke box. Lie if you have to. I have fifty+ people--half of whom I do not know--coming to my house tomorrow for a "Fabulous Fifties" party for my mother-in-law, and this is supposed to be her cake. As cake decorating goes, it is not one of my finer achievements, and the longer I look at it, the more convinced I become that it doesn't remotely resemble a juke box. Randy is no help. He keeps prancing around it, crying, "It's a juice box, Mommy, a juice box cake for Grandma! It is a BIG juice box!"

I added the music notes to hopefully tip folks off. I can just hear myself tomorrow night:

"Actually, it's a juke box."

"Umm..no...it's a juke box."

"Well, it is supposed to be a juke box. You know, from the fifties?"

Oh, He is Good

2009-11-30T07:15:00.000-08:00

Very, very good.
I put up my nativity last night on the back of the piano and sure enough, this morning the babies were drawn to it like moths to a flame. Nervous of their loitering and longing looks toward the delicate ceramic figures, I queried, "Hey, what are you two doing over there?"
Randy did not miss a beat, "Mommy, I'm teaching her about Jesus!"
Now, how's a mom going to argue with that?

Tree Farm and Follies

2009-11-29T19:23:00.000-08:00

We have the best tree farm in America thirty minutes drive from home. Oh, how we missed it when we lived on the coast. After a year, we found a decent one an hour away. The folks were nice there, but they just couldn't hold a candle--or Christmas light--to the one we visit up here. At this farm, there is a Santa (with a real beard and an authentic twinkle in his eye), goats, hot cider, and even a few Christmas trees ;0)

K is lamenting our "outdated family tree" as he put it. Funny, but those cutsie group ornaments are hard to find with eight (or say nine and ten) members. Because we have all the room we could want and 9 1/2 foot ceilings, we got an eight foot tree--our biggest tree ever. And it is beautiful! Still with six kiddos, throwing ornaments on in wild abandon, it didn't take long to decorate. Just as we were sitting down with hot cocoa to admire our handiwork, Randy's seat (a turned over ornament box) popped out from under him, making his cocoa into a fountain and soaking him through and through. Poor thing! He hardly knew what happened to him and he looked so funny with cocoa dripping from his face and hair--he even had a marshmallow clinging to his nose! We all busted out laughing. Kind of spoiled the quiet H*llmark holiday moment, but that's the way it goes at our house.

What She's Thankful For

2009-11-27T18:38:00.001-08:00

What I'm Thankful For

I'm thankful for alot of things. I'm thankful for a loving God who is there for me. I'm thankful for great parents who watch and teach me. I'm thankful fo a big house for me to live in. I'm thankful for my brothers and sisters as well. I'm thankful that we have food on the table. I'm thankful that we can worshp our God in church. I'm thankful that God gave us away to go to heaven through His son Jesus. That's what I'm thankful for.

By: Abby-age 8

"Find My Family"

2009-11-25T18:47:00.000-08:00

This started out as a comment, but it was getting long, and then blogger ate it. I'm retyping it here. It is concerning ABC's new show "Find My Family."

Overall, it was a good show. It definitely left me with warm fuzzy feelings for the birthfamily and I was very happy for the adoptee. Of course, this is television, so we are seeing a "fairytale" adoption story--i.e. the birthparents stay together, get married, raise three other children, live the American dream, all the while never giving up hope of being re-united with their long-lost daughter. I think you would find that stories like theirs are pretty rare. They aren't going to tell you about the prostitute who had to be drug out of a crack house to sign her TPR, the eighth grade drop out who was being sexually abused by her uncle, the biological father who beat the mess out of his girlfriend and hit the road when he found out she was pregnant, or the dear old dad who was about to be incarcerated for 10 years. They aren't about to put that much "reality" in our reality t.v.
I also feel that they heightened the drama on the part of the adoptee. It is important to remember that--while she was glad to meet her biological parents--prior to the cameras showing up, she had not searched for them on her own. Even though her dad had encouraged her to! It was clear to me that adoption was no big, bad boogie man hanging out in her past and shadowing her present, but a fact about herself that she was on good terms with. Sure she was curious, but had she never learned any more about her adoption story, she would have been o.k. with that. I found this very comforting.
I am disturbed by the title "Find My Family" and the multiple references to biological parents/siblings as "YOUR family," "YOUR daughter," etc. The people who raised her and the brothers and sisters she grew up with are her family! In this show, I felt the adoptive parents were being treated like glorified babysitters. Especially when the host commented, that "It is every adopted child's dream to be found." What?! For starters, my girls are not "lost." They are right where they were placed (by an almighty people Placer)--in a family, loved and cared for. We are in closed adoptions--not by our choice--it is simply the way it is. Now, I regret that my daughters will have very little information about their biological backgrounds and that building relationships with their birthparents was not possible, but if they reach adulthood cherishing a fantasy of being "found" by them, I will most assuredly feel that we have failed. I would have to see more episodes; perhaps they would have devoted more time and attention to the adoptive parents had the adoptee been younger. I would choose, "The Missing Piece" or "Back to Beginnings" or "Roots" (wait as second--that's taken!) or something to that affect as a more appropriate title. The title demonstrates that the narrow definition of 'family' as individuals who are genetically linked to you is still alive and well within our culture. A supposition that, as members of the adoption triad, we should continue to work towards changing.

Talking In Your Sleep

2009-11-21T18:22:00.000-08:00

1. Has anyone in your life talked in their sleep? The kids talk in their sleep off and on. I love to hear them laugh in their sleep.

2. What do you like about fall? Cooler temperatures. Looking forward to the holidays. But I've married something of a Scrooge, so I have to keep that kind of low key.

3. Do you have an addictive personality? I don't think so. Seems as though folks can get quite enough of me. I can't even get my own sister to visit for Thanksgiving for Pete's sake. More like I have a-little-dose-will-do-ya' personality.

4. Who was the last person to do something extra special for you? My friend Cari made time out of her week to meet with me twice in the last six months. Since together we have a dozen children, I think that is pretty monumental. And my mom and dad put their heads together and replaced a special keepsake of mine that I had lost (and assumed was irreplaceable) for my birthday in July.

5. Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you? No. I don't see myself being able to forgive that.

6. Are you happy with where you are in life? Yes. Only I wish we had more money--but we are working on that.

7. Do you believe that you can change someone? No.

8. Have you ever wished you could've had someone but you couldn't? I don't care for the verbiage in that question.

9. Would you ever fight someone over your significant other? "If you don't want to go to Fist City, you better detour 'round my man...."

My Hockey Stars?

2009-11-19T17:58:00.000-08:00

They have the look, if not the skills.

Encouragement and Correction

2009-11-18T19:24:00.000-08:00

From my three year old.

Encouragement- I'm standing at the bathroom mirror when Randy walks in.
Randy: Mommy, what you doin'?
Me: Oh, I'm trying to make myself presentable.
Randy: But you are just so cuuuuuuuute!

Correction-As we are driving out of the W*llm*rt parking lot we must stop and let the traffic filing out of our local plant pass. There is a homeless man "camped" at the stop sign. It is the last moments of light before the sun sets.
Randy: Mommy. There is a man there. He is sitting in the dark. In the night. His clothes are dirty. He is not walking. He does not have a car.
You can tell the wheels in his head are turning. He cannot fathom why someone is alone at night beside the road. I feel certain he is about to bust lose with a hundred questions: Why is he there? Where is his house? How did he get here? Where is his family? Questions I will evade as best I can and blunder through the rest. I feel mild irritation at this man. Another bum who has to be standing at a corner where I have to stop. I know it is horrible, but I'm keeping this blog honest--ugly, unloving, selfish thoughts and all. I clicked the automatic locks and hoped something else would catch my child's attention. This whole time, I have not said a word; I knew he was perplexed, but I wasn't going to volunteer any information. Little did I imagine, Randy would draw his own--wiser, better, truer--conclusions.
Randy: That man is not filthy. He is...he is...lost.
Wow.

Simple Woman's Daybook

2009-11-16T20:33:00.000-08:00

FOR TODAY, Monday, November 16, 2009

Outside My Window...brrrr......

I am thinking...I am thinking about the gruesome murder of the 5 year old girl in NC. Wish I could stop thinking about it. Her own mother selling her as a prostitute? I want to vomit. When I hear stories like this, I feel certain we live in the last days.

I am thankful for...new contacts and restored vision. I've been blind since Thursday.

From the kitchen...finally finished off last week's VAT of turkey soup tonight. Tomorrow we have lentil and ham stew. New recipe--I'll keep you posted. We had to spend this week's grocery money on contact lenses, so things could get interesting.
I am wearing...work-out clothes. Went back to aerobics after a two week absence. It felt great to exercise again, but I'll probably be soar tomorrow.

I am creating...finishing up some sewing projects and work continues in the daycare.

I am going...I have no travel plans at present--unless you count L*wes and H*bby L*bby.

I am reading...started new bedtime book with the kids tonight--The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Perilous Journey

I am hoping...the headache I feel beginning behind my eyes will dissipate once I lay down. I wonder if it is related to my new contacts? I hope not.

I am hearing...not a creature stirring, not even a guinea pig.

One of my favorite things...I really dig a well put together classroom. My daycare rooms are starting to look like first-rate learning environments. I love that.

Around the house...I started to type "fairly clean," but as I glance out the office door my conscience pricks me. It was "fairly clean" this morning. In all honesty, it now falls into the "needs improvement" category.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...food and nutrition lady is supposed to come train me tomorrow. Wednesday church.

A picture thought I'm sharing:

She is five years old, too. What have we come to?

More daybooks at http://www.thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

Family Opinion

2009-11-12T10:27:00.001-08:00

My friend Debbie wrote a post about the decision to adopt--specifically in regards to the degree your family's opinion influenced that decision. This post is for her.

Al*n J*ckson sings a song, "Chasin' That Neon Rainbow," that contains these lines.

"Daddy won a radio

Tuned it to a country show

I was rockin' in the cradle

To the cryin' of a steel guitar.

Mama used to sing to me

She taught me that sweet harmony

Now she worries cause

She never thought I'd ever

Really take it this far."

I think that about sums up my parents, when it comes to the master and I adding to our family. The lessons I learned on their knees and at their breast--lessons about love and strength, redemption and family, sacrifice and significance--have indeed influenced my desire and decision to give birth to and adopt children, as well as provided me with emotional resources and values to care for them.
But they, "worry cause they never thought I'd ever really take it this far." And that's not only with adoption. On the day we found out that I was carrying a girl, my mom exclaimed, "Great! You have a boy and girl now, so you can stop!" It just made perfect sense to her. Over the years I've tried to explore their concerns and fears about our ever expanding family.
*worry over finances--Will we be able to support them? Where would we live? How will we live? By far, the number one issue.
*concern over my long term ability to cope--Why do I pursue a life that in many ways is such hard work? Will I crack under the strain leaving them with 3...4...5...6... children to raise?
*concern over limited resources--can we give each individual child the love and attention they deserve?
Still to this day my dad will lament that I "have ALL these children." He says 'all' as though it is not a good thing. To which I will respond, "O.K. Daddy, I'll have the kids line up and you can choose which one we should get rid of." He will chuckle. He knows I've got him there.

When my older sister could not carry children, it made perfect "sense" to my parents that they adopt. But when I the middle daughter with three borned children in tow come up with the hair-brain scheme to fly around the world and adopt a baby from Russia it was quite a different matter. They had new and old worries mixed and compounded by two daughters in the adoption process at the same time:
*worries over finances!!! When I told my dad what it was going to cost for Marina's adoption, I thought he was going to have a stroke.
*fear they wouldn't love an adopted child like they did a birth grandchild
*worse fear--they would bond with the child and he/she would be taken back (my sister was trying to adopt through the foster system.)
*worry about the child's medical diagnosis and prognosis
*a sense of awkwardness trying to explain our reasoning to their friends, co-workers, and extended family when they themselves do not understand it
*concern for their daughters' heartbreak if the whole thing did not work out.

Time cured or made them face those fears. I know each of them--all of which are fairly valid--stems from a sincere love and concern for me and my family, so I don't let it hurt my feelings. Love covers a multitude of sins. I don't know how I would feel or react if I doubted that or believed they came from selfish motives--which may be your case, Debbie. I listen with respect and try to hear what they are saying. They are my parents and I honor their opinion, even if, in the end, we must make a different decision. And I must say they have done splendidly despite their misgivings--it just takes them a little while to come around. They love their adopted grand-daughters every bit as much as their birth grand-children. If anything, they are more protective and tender towards them.

All that to say:

Yes, my parents opinion is important to me. No, my parents have not always approved of our decision to expand our family--either by birth or adoption. Yes, in the end, we did adopt/have more children despite that. Yes! Thankfully, they did accept these children. And--purely hypothetically--should we sit down one day and say, "Mom, Dad, we're flying to Uganda to adopt two children from Am*ni Baby House," I won't expect them to like it. They will share all the reasons we shouldn't do it. They will blush in their Sunday school class as they tell their friends the news. They will worry that they will not be able to accept a black child. They will be concerned for the children's health. They will worry about them growing up in a white family in a still very prejudiced south. They will want to know how much it is going to "set us back." They will be convinced that their middle daughter is insane for having EIGHT children and they will wonder if I will ever stop. BUT, they will ask for prayers on our behalf from that same Sunday School class, they will become champions of equal rights, they will keep the other children so I can take the babies to check-ups, Mom will find "the cutest" outfits for them, Daddy will secretly slip us cash, and when we step off the plane, they will be the first ones to hold them.

At least, I'm betting they will. ;0)

You Decide

2009-11-10T12:27:00.000-08:00

Which one for our Christmas Card?

We had an appointment yesterday evening at the local Wallyworld for Christmas pictures. It is the same studio I used this summer for individual photo shoots (I refuse to buy school pictures--it's a racket), and was quite pleased with the portraits especially considering the price. Since I bring along six children worth of business, they have been very solicitous, calling every few weeks to see if they can schedule another appointment. Last week, I relented. They were offering free 10x13 with booking. So, I ran around town all day yesterday, taking in two Goodwills, and J.C. Penn#y just to make sure we could pull off eight coordinating outfits. Then convinced and/or wrangled all six to don said attire amid several protests of "But Mo-om, it isn't even Sundaaaaaaaay." AND made it to the studio at 5:15 on the dot.

We were there, but the photographer was not. We waited 45 minutes, but they never showed. The kids were getting cranky and hungry, and there was no way, I was going to go through the holiday photograph ordeal twice in one season, so we called a church member with an awesome camera and begged her to have mercy. We were getting pictures made one way or another. She took these in her living room. I don't think they turned out half bad. Be sure to vote on the above for the card picture, but I'm including some rejects for fun.

Marina: "Me? Smile? Seriously?"

Randy: "Will it never end??!!"

Cara: "I feel certain they are plotting against me."

K sporting his dazed and confused look

When the Moon Hits Your Eye...

2009-11-08T17:51:00.000-08:00

Like a big pizza pie, that's amore. Abby and Marina cooked dinner tonight. Homemade pizza ....mmmmmmm.

Simple Woman's Daybook

2009-11-02T18:58:00.000-08:00

FOR TODAY, Monday, November 2, 2009
Outside My Window...chili breeze, but clear and very beautiful
I am thinking...I am one of the most blessed people in the world.
I am thankful for...times when I remember the above.
From the kitchen...not much. We've been in revival this weekend, and we have taken most of our meals at the church building.
I am wearing...striped shirt and blue jeans.
I am creating...still not many creative endeavors beyond the daycare.
I am going...to eat dinner with a friend Thursday night. Looking forward to it.
I am reading...honoring my promise not to begin another book until the daycare opened. The daycare must open soon.
I am hoping...that Women of Faith trip will be a blessing to our church. It is not until April, but I have been put in charge and I'm starting to get nervous. I have to get 25 women to the conference or the church has to eat the tickets. I have eleven signed up. Anyone want to join us?
I am hearing...baby crying her "final protest before I succumb" cry.
One of my favorite things...being with other Christians and feeling that sweet Spirit--knowing heaven will be like that--only a million times better.
Around the house...a little tidier thanks to my mom and mother-in-law's efforts, as well as my this-has-gone-on-too-long breakdown over the bathroom. I stayed up till 11 last night scouring it.
A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...some family is coming in to help us paint the daycare tomorrow night, the aforementioned dinner date, and who knows what all?
A picture thought I'm sharing:

Tickle Torture

To enjoy more daybooks, visit http://www.thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

A Little Pixie Dust

2009-10-31T19:49:00.000-07:00

A night in Never Land

Wendy (sewn from an old fitted bed sheet. Sometimes, I impress myself.)

Tick-Tock (recycled dinosaur costume from years ago)

Tink

My man Pan

Tiger Lilly (Is she not the cutest thing you have ever seen?!)

The expense of the last three costumes counter balance the economy of the first two. I had to go to the party store and make painful purchases--even though it nearly killed me to spend money on costumes as simple as Peter Pan and Tiger Lilly. Finding a perfectly good Pan costume in Goodw*ll this morning only poured salt in the wounds. Oh, well, I simply did not have the time this year to sew them all.

And this is the first year K did not dress up. I'm pretty sad about that. Where was the Pixie dust to protect him from growing up?

Friday Photo Journalism

2009-10-23T15:29:00.000-07:00

Parents Consider Legal Action in Wake of False Advertising Debacle

Texas--Br*tt incorporated, owners to the popular children's icon, Th*mas the Tank Engine, bamboozled countless customers into buying shrill train whistles falsely touted and packaged as flashlights.

The proposed class action suit accuses the company of lying to consumers not only in stocking the toys in a separate, whistle-less section of the gift shop, but also in cleverly concealing the offending mouthpiece located at the base of the flashlight. Unsuspecting moms, steered children past sirens, bull horns, and snap whips to flashlights, deceitfully nestled between toothbrushes and themed underpants, only to be horrified once the plastic came off. Too late for remedy.

"It is MY flashlight. It is for to make the light. And here, it is a whistle. I blow it loud and louder," testified a three year old of his new Th*mas flashlight.

His parents were considerably less thrilled. They grimly agree, "someone should pay."

Three Questions

2009-10-22T17:17:00.000-07:00

Tired of asking your kids about their day at school ("How was your day?" and "What did you learn today?") and getting the same one-word responses ("O.K.," "Fine," "Nothing")?

Try the three questions.

1. What happened today that made you laugh?
2. What was the best thing you ate today?
3. Who did you help?

I don't exactly remember where I picked these up, but I've been using them for over two years now, and they certainly help get the ball rolling around the supper table in the evenings. For instance, tonight I learned that Ian helped an unlucky classmate clean up a dropped lunch tray, Marina caught the giggles on the playground and almost couldn't stop, and Abby found the cafeteria's mashed potatoes "excellent," but the chicken nuggets decidedly lacking. Good stuff. And, as an added bonus, I've found the children now anticipate my nightly inquisition and actively look for someone to help during the day--reason enough for me to keep asking.

Inside Job

2009-10-20T18:32:00.000-07:00

**Yes, I know it isn't Saturday, but Tuesday works for me

1. When you were young, what did you want to be when you grew up? I went through a stage of wanting to be a veterinarian when I was very young. Then I decided I didn't really love animals that much. Mostly, I wanted to be a mom. I always thought that I would be a foreign missionary if the whole marriage/children dream did not pan out. Around 13, I strongly considered becoming a midwife. Finally landed on a teaching degree as my fall back career. I'm good with kids, creative, excellent classroom manager, and no needles are required (generally speaking).

2. Did you ever pursue that career? No, on veterinarian. YES, on being a mom! Trouble is, it doesn't pay much. And to become a midwife, you must first become a RN, and I thought I did not have the stomach for that. Wish now I had bucked up and gotten over it. I've taught off and on since graduating.

3. If you are not in that field, what changed? Six kids.

4. What is your current job? Substitute teacher...very soon, daycare owner/director.

5. What's the best part of what you do? Telling little children about Jesus.

6. Do you have plans to do something else down the road? Ultimately would like to sell business at enormous profit or keep it for Marina to run one day. Since she is only in kindergarten that is some long range planning. ;0) The master and I are always coming up with one scheme or another. We both would love to travel--perhaps realization of the old foreign missionary dream lies ahead. Of course, I'll never retire from being a mommy, but look forward to being promoted to Grandma eventually.

7. How did you get your present job? God gave us a building. Since I am qualified to direct a daycare center, it just made sense to open a business.

8. Did your parents influence your choices of jobs over the years? No. Mom and Dad did not allow us to get jobs in high school. They said making good grades for scholarships was a better return on investment than any minimum wage job we could get as teens. Now my sister-in-law (not college educated) makes three times what I would make teaching as an officer in a bank. She started as a teller when she was 15. So, I have to wonder? But, I never felt pressure from my parents to enter any certain field, only to follow my interests.

9. What advice would you give your children on careers? Pursue any of your interests, but make sure you acquire a degree in something that will pay the bills.

Simple Woman's Daybook

2009-10-19T20:12:00.000-07:00

FOR TODAY, Monday, October 19, 2009

Outside My Window...dark, cool, and clear

I am thinking...boring stuff like minimum standards, and ratios, and TB tests

I am thankful for...my church. *deep breath* I am really starting to love (and dare I say--trust?) these people. Scary stuff.

From the kitchen...'tis but a bitter waste land.

I am wearing...snugly winter jammies someone donated to the women's shelter that has not been here for two years. Hey, if I see them leaving stuff outside the building, I'll tell them that the mission has moved, but many people throw out bags and drive off. Most of the clothes are trash and we dispose of them with our garbage. But if it is something we can use...we wear it. I have no pride. Good stuff that we can't use we take to Go*dwill.

I am creating...daycare and fall festival ensembles. A few of which may end up coming from Party's Plus

I am going...to turn in my application to the state this week.

I am reading...I went through a reading spree about two weeks ago--reading non-stop and neglecting my family and home shamefully--and have now sworn off starting any new books until after the daycare opens

I am hoping...once again hoping that we will be able to sell our old house. The mortgage is a millstone around our necks.

I am hearing...clothes tumbling in the dryer.

One of my favorite things...hearing Marina laugh. It is a loud, brash, guffaw sound, so very incongruent with my thin, waif-like little girl, that I invariably laugh along with her.

Around the house...Staying up late hours to try and keep up with the housework after working in the daycare all day. Futilely, I may add; I am not keeping up at all. And we ate take out twice today. TWICE! I think that sets a record.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...More daycare, TB test, I think we have some parent/teacher conferences, my parents are visiting this weekend...

A picture thought I'm sharing:

The bluest eyes in Texas.

What A Day!

2009-10-16T16:41:00.000-07:00

Thomas the T*nk Engine came to a railway near us, and we hopped aboard. Considering we once drove all the way to Colorado for a similar event, I was thrilled to make this super-fun family outing as a day trip. On the way back, we stopped at a pumpkin patch. I'm pooped, but wanted to show off some my best pictures!

Randy would not cooperate for pictures but wanted instead to stand in front of Thomas and look and look. He kept saying, "That's my friend, Thomas. I ride in the freight cars?" I kept telling him that, yes, we would ride Thomas, but we would ride in 'coaches' not 'freight cars', but no need to confuse him with the facts.

I did a double take when I saw this little girl running around the state park. She is Cara's twin for sure! They looked so much alike, I had to ask the mother how old she was. I know Cara has a biological half-sister who is only a year older than her, and boy was I curious when I saw this cutie run up to a very Caucasian looking mommy. Just in the nick of time I thought to ask, "How old is she?" instead of blurting out, "Is she adopted?" Turns out this little girl is only six months older than Cara, and when we met her daddy, he was an Asian man with darker than usual skin tone. Both of us snapped pictures of our look-alikes, and the funny thing was, I know the man was looking at John and me and the other, Arian N*tion kiddos and thinking, "Where did she come from?" But he was polite enough not to ask. Kudos to him! Isn't that hairstyle darling? I'm strongly considering having Cara's hair cut in a chili bowl now that I've seen how cute she will look in it!

Never Before

2009-10-11T17:46:00.000-07:00

And with any luck, never again. Thought I'd take a quick potty break between committee meeting and evening service. Pee in haste, repent at leisure. My skirt did not clear the commode. Thankfully, I was able to rush out of the side door without (I hope!!) anyone seeing me. I really must give up wearing broomstick skirts. I have not the careful, cautionary personality they require.

*If you wonder why my posts are few and far between, something has gone wrong with the computer. It takes forever to type on a website. You have to peck S-L-O-W-L-Y. Otherwise, the cursor just blinks at you. Getting a post up on blogger is painfully slow. I don't do slow.

Everyday Celebrations

2009-10-04T18:14:00.000-07:00

I began the seasonal clothes sort today. This evening, the children discovered winter pajamas in their drawers. You'd have thought it was Christmas morning! They were that excited over the "new" clothes. Mind you, none of them were, in fact, new. Abby is wearing a nightshirt I found at GoodW*ll. Ian is styling the moose jamies I made him last winter with fabric I picked up from the discount table at Hancock's. Rina's Barbie nightgown and Randy's puppy dogs night clothes are hand-me-downs from older siblings. Yet--in their minds, at least--"Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed as one of these."

Lord, grant that they will always find such pleasure in the simple things of life.

Saturday Nine-Let's Go To Bed

2009-10-03T17:00:00.000-07:00

1. Has a relationship been effected by how one of you slept? No, not really, but we have had some pretty heated discussion regarding the whole fan/no fan issue. Once, early in our marriage, I talked in my sleep (which I do from time to time), stating, "I want a divorce." Unfortunately, he was awake at the time, and heard me--very clearly. I honestly don't remember what I was dreaming about and was shocked when he repeated it to me. I most certainly did not want a divorce, but as you might imagine, he was quite upset for some time over the incident.

2. What side of the bed do you sleep on? right.

3. Do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? I start out on my side or stomach, but usually awake on my back.

4. Describe the bedding on your bed right now. How does it change with the seasons? Are you particular about your pillows or linens? When we moved last year, I refused to move with the comforter because it was old (five years or more) and not in good condition. I figured that if we didn't take it with us, we would be "forced" to buy another one. Guess what? We still don't have one. We sleep with a sheet, and on cold nights, we throw on a quilt. Poor folk have poor ways. Our linen closet is in such bad shape, my mom is embarrased for me when she comes to visit.

5. When sleeping with someone, do you hog the bed, steal covers, or snore? The master says "no," "yes!" and "sometimes."

6. What do you wear to bed? If it varies, explain. Night gowns or T-shirts in fall, spring, and summer. In the dead of winter, I'll wear flannel pj's. Oh, and my bra.

7. No matter how much you love someone, would you rather sleep alone? No, I've never minded sleeping with someone. Unlike the master, who cannot rest without me, I don't have to have a partner to sleep soundly.

8. Tell us about a time when you awoke in bed, saw the person next to you and thought, "Oh, no..." I had to giggle, becuase this actually happens to me all the time! ;0) Any night I don't remember to put the baby gate up in the boy's doorway, Ian or Randy will come curl up next to me, and it gets really crowded and uncomfortable. I wake up in the middle of the night, stiff and cramped, and look over to see their sweet little faces.

9. Tell us about a time when you awoke thinking it was a different day than it was. In college, I hated waking up on a Tuesday and thinking it was a Wednesday. It's a bummer to get ready for an 8:00 class when you don't have one until 9:30.

Back in the Saddle Again

2009-09-29T17:16:00.000-07:00

After a three year break, I returned to the public school classroom today. I have to admit, it was good to be back. I'm sure there will be days when I want to pull my hair out, but not today. It was a successful day, and overall, a well behaved class. The regular teacher left me pretty thorough plans, and that always helps. Don't know why after a year of having my application turned in they suddenly started to call me to substitute. It could be that a friend put in a good word for me. Or my going back around last week to show my face in all the offices. Maybe they got really desperate. My dad says it was because he prayed (I'm leaning toward that as the most probable reason). Whatever the reason, I'm thankful. My bringing in some income will certainly help the financial crunch we are in.